My Death Set Them Free

The day of the SATs, my sister and I accidentally swapped our admission tickets.

On the way to deliver hers, I was hit by a truck and lost both my legs.

Since that day, I have lived in a world of shadows.

My parents worked back-to-back double shifts just to afford the best prosthetics for me.

My sister, Nina, dropped out of college to stay home and be my full-time caregiver.

After five long years, I finally decided to try and pull myself together.

But when the prosthetic rubbed my skin raw and I couldn't help but cry, my mother finally snapped.

"How much longer are you going to torture us? " she screamed.

"Do you have any idea how much we've sacrificed for you? What more do you want from us? "

Nina broke down too, clutching my mother as she sobbed.

"Mom, I'm so exhausted! "

I watched them from my wheelchair, then silently retreated to my room.

It turned out I had been nothing but a source of misery for them all along.

I stared at the bottle of sleeping pills on my nightstand.

Mom, Dad, Nina...

Maybe if I'm gone, you'll finally feel some peace.

01

A whole bottle of pills down my throat, and I lay back on the cold bed.

My consciousness began to blur, and my body felt like it was sinking into a deep, dark ocean.

In the living room, Nina's sobbing continued.

"Mom, it's all my fault! " she cried.

"If it weren't for me, Harper wouldn't be like this."

"If I could go back, I'd be the one losing my legs, not her! "

Mom tried to comfort her, her voice trembling.

"Nina, honey, it's not your fault."

"No one wanted this to happen. Stop blaming yourself."

"It's been five years, and you've punished yourself every single day."

"You gave up your education for her. Isn't that enough? "

I whispered in my heart.

Yes, Nina.

Don't blame yourself anymore. It truly wasn't your fault.

That day, I knew your feet were hurting from those new shoes, so I offered to run back and grab your ticket.

I was just too impatient. I didn't see the truck coming around the corner.

I know that since that day, you haven't smiled once.

You gave up your dreams to stay by my side every day.

I have never, ever blamed you, big sister.

I felt sleepier and sleepier, my mind becoming a chaotic mess.

I hope I look peaceful like this.

I can't scare Mom.

She's always been terrified of seeing people in pain.

Every time I used to grit my teeth and grimace while changing my bandages, I knew Mom was scared deep down.

To keep me from feeling guilty, she would force herself to stay calm.

For five years, I watched my family pour their lives into me.

Last month, I finally decided I had to be strong again.

I told them, "I'm okay now. I won't live in the shadows anymore."

The joy on their faces was real.

"That's wonderful, Harper! " they had said.

"We'll move forward as a family, and things will finally get better! "

I meant it, too.

I couldn't stay stuck in the past.

I couldn't continue being the anchor that dragged this family down.

I wanted to stand up.

As my thoughts drifted, I felt myself floating near Mom and Nina.

Nina had stopped crying, but the tear stains on her cheeks were deep.

Mom stroked her back, her eyes full of heartache.

"Harper said she was fine, so why did she act like that today? "

"How long is she going to keep us in this prison? Does she want us all dead before she's satisfied? "

I froze.

I reached out to grab Mom's arm.

"No, Mom, that's not it."

"I didn't want to torture anyone! I really was trying to be strong."

"It just... it just hurt so bad, and I couldn't hold it in..."

But I realized I couldn't touch her. My hand passed right through her.

I was already gone.

Good.

Now that I'm dead, I won't be a burden anymore.

02

Nina let out a long, heavy sigh.

"It's my fault. I shouldn't have brought Landon over."

"Someone like me doesn't deserve happiness anyway."

"I should just stay with Harper forever. This is my penance."

Landon was the guy who had been chasing Nina for months.

When I saw Nina finally starting to step out of her shell, I was genuinely happy for her.

But when Landon came over and saw me, the look on his face was pure shock.

He clearly didn't expect a broken sister to be part of the package.

Nina told him that if he couldn't accept me, she couldn't accept him.

But I knew Nina felt inferior deep down.

I told her to tell him I was getting better and that I could take care of myself.

I wanted her to go after her own happiness.

But Landon got scared off anyway.

Nina acted like it didn't matter, but I saw her crying in the bathroom when she thought I wasn't looking.

Nina, now that I'm gone, you can chase your dreams.

You never have to worry about your broken sister again.

Just then, the front door opened. Dad was home.

His hair had turned almost entirely white.

My chest tightened as I looked at him.

He had sacrificed so much for me.

He worked three jobs, starting before dawn and ending long after dark.

He had aged ten years in just five.

But he never complained in front of me.

He didn't want me to feel the weight of his labor.

I knew he was exhausted, though.

He was at his breaking point.

One day, I looked out the window and saw him standing by his old truck, just sobbing.

People were walking by, but he didn't care. He just let it out.

That was the first time I saw my father break.

My heart shattered that day.

Dad noticed I wasn't in the living room and frowned.

"Where's Harper? "

"Is she hiding in her room again? "

"She said she was making a fresh start. What happened? "

Mom's eyes turned red instantly.

"I don't know what's wrong with her anymore! "

"I can't take it. I'm so tired! "

She started sobbing uncontrollably.

I reached out to brush Mom's cheek.

Mom, please don't cry.

Seeing you like this hurts more than my legs ever did.

Dad walked over to my door and knocked.

"Harper, come out here! "

No answer.

His frown deepened, and he knocked harder.

"Harper! "

Still nothing.

He finally lost his temper.

"Harper Taylor! Are you going to torture this family forever? "

He turned back to Mom, his face hard.

"We've spoiled her too much these past few years."

"Let her sit in there and think about what she's doing to us."

I floated over to Dad's side.

Dad...

It's not that I'm ignoring you.

It's that I can't answer you anymore.

03

Dinnertime came, but still, no one realized anything was wrong.

Mom made honey-glazed ribs, my absolute favorite.

I tried to lean in and catch the scent, but I couldn't smell a thing.

Nina had calmed down a bit.

She nudged Mom gently.

"I'll go call Harper for dinner."

Mom hesitated, then nodded.

Nina took a deep breath and walked to my door.

She gave a soft knock.

"Harper, dinner's ready! "

"Mom made your favorite ribs! "

Silence.

She knocked again, a bit more urgently.

"Harper? Are you in there? "

"I'm coming in, okay? "

She reached for the doorknob, but Dad stopped her.

He slammed his palm against the wood of my door.

"Harper! "

"There's a limit to these tantrums! "

"Get out here right now, or you can go hungry tonight! "

Nina tried to pull him away, looking worried.

"Dad, stop. You're going to hurt her feelings."

Dad only got more worked up.

"Nina, don't stop me! "

"She's hurt? What about us? Aren't we hurt? "

"For years, we've put her emotions above everything else! "

"But we're human too. Don't we get to have feelings? "

"Not this time. No one goes in there to coddle her! "

A wave of bitterness washed over me.

Dad, once you see that I'm dead, you won't be angry anymore, will you?

The three of them sat at the table in a suffocating silence.

Mom finally spoke up, her voice small.

"Maybe we should check on her one more time."

"She shouldn't skip a meal..."

Dad cut her off immediately.

"Missing one meal won't kill her! "

"It's our constant catering that made her like this! "

"We've done enough for her in five years! "

"Does she want us to all become miserable husks like her before she's done? "

Nina lowered her head and picked at her food.

Mom went silent, her eyes brimming with tears.

I hovered in the air, watching them.

So this is what I had become in their eyes.

The rest of the meal was eerily quiet.

While cleaning up the dishes, Mom couldn't help herself.

She put a plate of ribs by my door.

"Harper, I'm leaving this here for you."

"Eat it when you're ready."

Dad didn't say a word, just sat on the couch rubbing his temples.

Nina went to her room and shut the door.

Night fell, and the house grew still.

Mom checked the hallway one last time before bed.

She stood outside my door for a long time but never turned the handle.

"Go to sleep, Harper," she whispered.

"Tomorrow will be better."

She didn't know that for me, there was no tomorrow.

04

The next morning, the atmosphere was just as heavy.

Mom put some warm oatmeal on the table and glanced at my closed door.

"Harper still hasn't come out? "

Dad sat down with a grim face.

"Ignore her. She'll eat when she's hungry."

Nina bit her lip and walked over to my door.

"Harper, breakfast is ready."

No response.

"Harper? "

Her voice started to shake.

Mom put down her spoon and joined her, knocking loudly.

"Harper, don't scare Mom. Just say something, okay? "

Only silence met them.

Dad couldn't sit still anymore. He stormed toward the room.

"Harper Taylor, open this door right now! "

Just then, the sound of a key turning came from the front door.

Grandma walked in carrying several bags, a wide smile on her face.

"I came to see my favorite granddaughter! "

But she quickly realized something was wrong.

"What's going on? Where's Harper? "

Mom's eyes welled up.

"Mom, Harper is... she's throwing a fit. She's been locked in her room all night."

Grandma's brow furrowed.

"A fit? Harper is the most sensible girl I know."

Nina choked back a sob.

"Grandma, you don't understand..."

"She was crying yesterday because of the pain in her legs."

"Mom and I snapped at her, and Dad did too..."

Grandma's face went completely dark.

"What did you say to her? "

Mom looked down at the floor.

"I was just so tired. I lost control..."

Grandma's voice suddenly rose to a shout.

"You're tired? You think Harper isn't tired? "

"That girl lost her legs! Have you ever once thought about how much she's suffering inside? "

Dad sighed.

"Mom, haven't we given enough for her over the years? "

Grandma's eyes turned red with anger and grief.

"What have you given? Harper ended up like this for who? "

Nina flinched, tears streaming down her face.

"It was... it was for me..."

Mom tried to shield Nina.

"Mom, this has nothing to do with Nina! "

"Enough! "

Grandma cut her off and walked straight to my door.

"Harper, it's Grandma. Open the door."

She banged on the wood, but there was still no answer.

Grandma seemed to sense something, and her expression changed instantly.

"Stay right here."

She rushed to the kitchen and grabbed the emergency spare key.

Her hands were shaking as she shoved the key into the lock.

With a soft click, the door swung open.

The room was dark, the curtains drawn tight.

A sliver of morning light hit the bed, illuminating a stiff, motionless figure.

I was lying there, perfectly still.

Dad was about to shout again.

"Harper, do you really need the whole family to beg you before youD"

He stopped mid-sentence. The blood drained from his face.

Grandma's voice was trembling.

"Harper? "

She rushed over and shook my shoulder.

My arm fell limp over the side of the bed, cold and rigid.

"No! "

Mom let out a blood-curdling scream and collapsed to her knees.

"No! Harper! Harper! "

Nina's face went as white as a sheet.

She looked like the soul had been sucked out of her.

"Har... Harper, wake up..."

She grabbed my hand, but it was like ice.

"This isn't real... tell me this isn't real..."

Dad stood frozen, his lips twitching violently.

After a long moment, he took a stumbling step forward and touched my cheek.

Cold.

Stiff.

He fell to his knees with a sound like a wounded animal.

"Harper! "

Mom crawled over and held me in a crazed embrace.

"Harper, look at me! Mom was wrong, I was so wrong! "

"You're not a burden! You're not! "

"I was just angry, I didn't mean it! Please open your eyes..."

Grandma stood by the bed, sobbing her heart out.

"Yesterday... why didn't you check on her yesterday? "

"How desperate must this child have been? "

Nina slumped to the floor, her whole body shaking.

She shook her head over and over.

"It's me... it's all my fault..."

"If I hadn't lost my ticket... if it had been me instead of her..."

She looked at my lifeless face, her voice fading to a whisper.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... Harper, please come back..."

The room was filled with the sound of hearts breaking.

They begged me to wake up.

But I would never wake up again.