Why love anymore

Fifty-five days. Thats how long it had been since my fianc ghosted me. So, I called off the wedding. The one Id been dreaming about for eight years.

He was off in some Buddhist retreat, playing Florence Nightingale to his childhood sweetheart, Willow, who was supposedly battling depression.

He even managed to get the Evergreen Temple, usually bustling with tourists, shut down for six whole months!

Meanwhile, I was being hounded by reporters, thanks to his vanishing act. I was practically homeless.

Desperate, I drove up to Evergreen Temple, hoping to get some answers.

He had his security guards escort me down the mountain, claiming my presence would disturb the serenity.

It was the dead of winter. I collapsed at the foot of the mountain. Almost died.

When I woke up, I saw him, Connor, personally planting acres of roses. Right there in the middle of the supposedly sacred grounds. Roses, the symbol of freakin' love.

Six months later, he finally came down from his mountain, with Willow in tow.

He filled our apartment, our supposed-to-be marital home, with the roses theyd planted.

I just stood there, watching him. Coldly.

He had no idea I was about to get married to someone else.

...

I was at Tiffanys, picking out wedding bands, when I saw him. Connor. After half a year.

The saleswoman was gushing about the rock on my finger, but I didn't hear a word she said.

I just stared at him, dazed.

Connor noticed my ring. He walked over. His expression wasdetached.

What are you doing here alone? I was planning a surprise.

Yeah, right. My eyes landed on the Tiffany's bag he was carrying. A diamond necklace.

Not for me.

For Willow.

Id overheard Willow batting her eyelashes at him yesterday. Said she wanted a diamond necklace for her birthday.

And Connor, of course, was already making it happen.

Anything for Willow.

Me? I just wanted a wedding. Waited eight years for one. Never got it.

So this time, Connor, I wasn't going to wait anymore.

I subtly stepped away from him. I quietly slipped off my ring and asked the clerk to wrap it up.

Connor instantly pulled out his credit card, ready to pay.

Before I could correct the sales clerk, I caught sight of the prayer beads on his wrist.

Willow posted a series of pictures when she officially announced her return to acting yesterday. One of the pictures was of the prayer beads.

The prayer beads did not match the rest of the pictures.

Some internet sleuth figured out they were unique to Evergreen Temple.

And suddenly, the shut-down of Evergreen Temple and the identity of the prayer bead owner were trending.

Some paparazzi even got video footage of Connor and Willow coming down the mountain.

You couldnt see Connors face, but the tailored suit and the license plate D all nines D gave it away.

Everyone was congratulating her on landing a rich husband.

I was a freakin' joke.

I snapped back to reality. I stopped the saleswoman from swiping his card.

Dont worry, I was just trying it on. Im not buying it.

Connor was staring at his phone, distracted. Buy it. I have time this afternoon. We can go get our marriage license.

Marriage license?

To him, our marriage was just a box to be checked.

I didn't want that kind of "love" anymore.

I didn't answer him. I walked out of the store.

Connor followed. He seemed annoyed by my behavior.

Are you mad about Willow again?

I told you, the weddings still on. I'm just taking care of her because of her dad.

Right, Willow was the daughter of a family friend of his.

Ever since her dad died, Connor had taken on the responsibility of caring for Willow.

Willow called him "Uncle Connor" with a sweet voice, but the look in her eyes was pure adoration.

I knew Connor understood perfectly what was happening. He just played dumb.

And I? I was just a shield. Protecting him and Willow from gossip.

I looked up at him. I responded calmly, "Yeah. I know.

Connor, I'm done with this love triangle.

My wedding is still on. Just not with you.

He frowned. He started lecturing me.

"I'm busy. I don't have time for your emotions."

"If you don't want to get married, then fine. Let's call the whole thing off."

Then he left me standing there in the mall and drove home.

He didnt know the wedding was called off.

And I didnt want to marry him.

I checked my phone. The last text Id sent to Connor had a big red exclamation point.

I tried sending another one.

Same thing. Red exclamation point.

He hadn't even unblocked me.

And he expected me to marry him?

I would have tried to talk him out of it, try to make him see sense.

But I was done deluding myself.

His heart hadnt been with me for a long time.

As I was hailing a cab, my actual fianc, Jake, called.

He wanted to meet at some new coffee shop downtown.

He noticed my empty hand. He looked confused.

You didnt get a ring?

I gave him a weak smile. Nothing really caught my eye.

Then he pulled out a ring box. He handed it to me.

I brought this back from France. I wasnt sure if youd like it, so I held back showing it to you.

I opened it. Inside was a stunning, rare pink diamond.

My name was engraved on the band.

This was a level of thoughtfulness I had never experienced before.

Tears stung my eyes. I was about to slip the ring on and thank him.

Then Connor called.

Hey, where are you? Ill send a driver to pick you up for the license.

After that blow-up, he actually expected me to still get the license with him?

He was so sure that I would forgive him.

Whenever we fought, he'd give me the silent treatment.

Within half a day, we would be talking again.

Because I gave in.

I caved into allowing Willow to attend our dates.

Caving into letting Willow label the passenger seat as hers.

Caving into letting Willow fill the car with her stuffed animals.

Connor's clothes, his daily necessities, everything was picked by Willow.

There was no sign of me left in his life.

Even then, Willow was not satisfied.

She jumped from the second floor of the house because Connor didn't answer her phone. She broke her leg.

Connor dropped all his billion-dollar deals to be by her side.

He blamed everything on me.

Just because I wasn't there to care for Willow right away.

He forced me to apologize to Willow. He made me kneel in front of Willow's hospital room to beg for her forgiveness.

Only then he would forgive me and marry me.

Otherwise, he would break up with me.

I was too in love with him back then. I could not bear to leave him.

So I gave in.

But love should not be treated this way. If you were hurt enough, you will naturally leave.

Thinking about those memories made me smile bitterly.

I hung up the phone and put the ring back in the box. I told Jake goodbye and prepared to go home.

But Connors driver blocked me.

Connor rolled down the back window. He looked at me. He saw the bag in my hand.

Whatd you buy?

I hid the box behind my back. I went around the car and got in.

Connor must have noticed something.

He saw the bag and the purse on my hand. "I saw you had a pink box. What is it?"

"You are mistaken."

I tucked my hair behind my ear, trying to figure out how to reject his license plans.

Before I could think, a phone call came in.

Willows shriek blasted out of Connors phone speaker.

Uncle Connor, I think someones following me!

Connor tensed up. Willow, dont worry. Where are you? I'm coming to get you.

His panic reminded me of the time Willow tried to kill herself.

She had found out that I was going to be engaged to Connor. She cried. She confessed her love to Connor. She got rejected.

So, she was irrational.

Connor regretted it. But he and I were already engaged.

So, he was just more mindful of her.

He even told me to answer Willow's phone 24/7.

In case she couldn't find herself and would come to me.

One time, I was in a meeting and didn't answer the phone. Connor's phone was off on the plane.

Willow cut her wrist.

Connor dumped me and took Willow to Evergreen Temple to rest.

He didnt care that our wedding day was around the corner.

Connor always sacrificed my needs for others.

So, this is the mercy the monks were talking about?

So-called mercy, but he knew I would not leave.

He knew I couldnt leave him.

This time, I'm not going to do that anymore.

The driver sped to Willows location.

She was huddled by the side of the road, looking like a lost kitten.

But there was nobody around.

Willow flung herself into Connors arms.

I saw the smug smile on her face.

She knew about our license plans.

So, she blocked us on purpose.

I thought it was funny.

She might think this is a win.

But if she knew I was marrying someone else, she'd see how ridiculous her actions were.

Willow nestled into Connors arms. She babbled on about being followed.

Connor comforted her. He helped her into the car.

He turned and saw me. He paused. After a moment, he said, "You can go home on your own."

And then he was gone.

Where am I going to hail a cab?

I gave a weak smile and asked Jake for help.

Soon after I got home, I heard footsteps rushing up the stairs.

Connor seemed to be relieved when he saw me.

He stood in the doorway. He sounded sorry.

Im sorry, I was busy. I didnt get to get the license.

I was casual and dismissive.

Its okay. I collected all my invitations in the bag.

He must have been satisfied that I didn't blame him.

He walked to my side. He patted me on the head.

When I was obedient and listened to him, he would treat me gently.

He wanted me to be responsible and obedient.

But he allowed another girl to do whatever she wanted.

I ducked away from him and tried to organize the stuff in the closet.

Connor froze. He said suddenly, "Let's get the license tomorrow. I'll push the meeting back."

He was actually agreeing to it. I smirked.

"No, I made plans to give Stacy her invitation."

Hearing what I said, Connor looked relieved.

He didn't know. My wedding had nothing to do with him anymore.

The next day, I woke up and went downstairs.

I saw Willow and Connor at the table. She was practically sitting on him.

Connor was coaxing her to eat breakfast.

She didn't like the taste of egg whites. She said the egg yolks would make her fat.

Connor didn't seem to be bothered. He cut the fruits and put them in her mouth.

Willow deliberately touched his fingers with her lips.

He looked away. His ears turned red.

I was cold to their interactions.

Willow saw me. She said, "You look so pretty today. Are you going on a date?"

I said nothing. Connor put the plate down. He said seriously, "Don't say nonsense. She is going to be your aunt."

Even though she knew that I was engaged to Connor, Willow refused to call me aunt.

She thought that she could cut off the ties between Connor and I.

Connor did nothing.

He did not correct her.

This was the first time he had corrected Willow.

I didn't care. "It's okay. She is young. She can say whatever."

This was what Connor used to say to me.

Willow was young. Everything she did was the right thing to do.

Right, I was the one that was wrong.

I was blind. I loved him for so long.

My words shut Connor up. He stopped feeding her and walked to my side.

"I pushed my morning meeting back. I can take you whenever you want to leave."

Willow was trying to say something, but Connor glared at her, and she closed her mouth.

He could manage her, and he knew that she was being absurd.

He just didn't want to. He was not willing to.

What does it matter now that he did manage her?

I don't care anymore.

I let Connor drop me off at Stacy's salon.

Stacy hugged me.

She was surprised to see Connor.

"What's he doing here?"

Stacy did not like him.

I said, "He didn't have any plans. He dropped me off."

"Wow, I thought Mr. Connor only had time to be with that girl."

"Having that young girl by his side all day. He said that was mercy. That he was a monk."

"Honestly, I don't know if he is perverted."

Stacy was honest. Connor was upset. He educated me.

"I don't care about the friends you make."

"But you have to invite some polite people to the wedding. Otherwise, it will hurt the reputation of the family."

"It will scare Willow."

I was sure that the last sentence was the important one.

"It's my wedding. I can invite whoever I want to."

I sighed. I shoved the invitation in Stacy's hand.

Connor grabbed the invitation.

"Grace! Why are you being so childish!"

"What do you mean, your wedding! Your wedding is my"

He saw the groom's name. He froze