No More Chances: After I Erased Our Child

1.

Elias's ex-girlfriend Savannah Pierce, post an ultrasound picture on Instagram.

The caption read: Thank you to my closest friend for giving me the most amazing gift when I needed it most. I'm finally going to have a baby of my own. #NewChapter #Blessed #SecretAngel

I quietly liked the post and left a comment: "Congratulations to you both."

Less than a second after I hit send, my husband, Elias, was on the phone. He was screaming, his voice frantic and chaotic: "What the hell is wrong with you? This has nothing to do with you! Stop acting like a goddamn stalker online!"

I silently hung up. It was time for a divorce.

I placed a hand on my own flat stomach and took a deep breath, a single thought echoing clearly in my mind: I'm so sorry, but I can't keep you.

The words caught in my throat, choked by a sob I couldn't hold back.

This baby was supposed to be a surprise for Elias's birthday. But now, it was clear he didn't need it.

I was two months pregnant. This was the baby he and I had talked about for so long, the one he finally agreed to have.

He never liked being intimate with me, and he didn't like kids. He said they were a messy combination of noise and trouble, a drain on your energy.

But recently, Id seen his browser history filled with searches like "what to prepare for a newborn." He had even stayed up late creating two Excel spreadsheets: one titled "Mom-to-be hospital bag checklist" and the other "Newborn essentials list."

I was naive enough to think he knew about my pregnancy and was preparing for me. I was happy, like a complete fool. Now I see that I was never the star of his meticulous plan.

Elias came home unusually early today. I glanced at the clock; it was only eight in the evening. Normally, he wouldn't stumble in until after midnight, reeking of alcohol.

He called out my name, "Charlotte?"

I lay in the bedroom and didn't answer. He didn't call again.

A few moments later, the sound of the shower started. When he was done, he walked into the bedroom without turning on the light and carefully lay down beside me.

A tentative warmth spread from my waist. It was the first time he had ever put his arm around me on his own.

He buried his head in the crook of my neck, his voice laced with a forced, placating tone. "Hey, babe, I swear nothing happened between her and me."

"I was just helping her fulfill a wish. Savannah has always wanted a child. I promise, as soon as the baby is born, I'll cut off all contact with her."

I didn't say anything. I just reached down, removed his arm from my waist, and scooted toward the edge of the bed.

He felt my rejection, and his tone instantly soured with impatience. "I already explained it to you, what more do you want? This is the situation, so deal with it."

"You said you didn't mind my past. Are you going back on your word now?"

"You know, I could have hidden this from you completely, but I chose to be honest. And this is how you react. Fine, whatever."

He spewed out all his grievances in one breath, then threw a final jab.

"We agreed to have a baby, and I'm trying. You need to get your head straight. I'm sleeping on the couch tonight."

The door slammed shut with a bang. I couldn't help but laughDat my pathetic marriage, and at the choice I had made.

In his eyes, explaining himself was a gift, one I was expected to accept with gratitude. If I didn't, I was just the "control freak" he always called me.

He dared to treat me this way because of my past, all-consuming love for himDI had given him everything, only to be treated as a disposable backup plan.

So, in the end, I deserved all of this.

2.

Elias was gone first thing in the morning. Of course, I knew exactly where he went. He'd been leaving early and coming home late for days.

His assistant at work, a young woman named Chloe, had called my phone several times looking for him.

Chloe told me Elias hadn't been to the office at all recently.

Putting the pieces together, the answer was obviousDhe could only be at one place: taking care of Savannah.

I scheduled an appointment online and took an Uber to the clinic. The procedure went smoothly, and two hours later, a nurse wheeled me out of the recovery room.

As fate would have it, I ran into Elias at the front desk while paying my bill. He was holding Savannah's shoulder, and his brow furrowed the moment he saw me. "Are you stalking me?"

I ignored him and looked at Savannah. She awkwardly avoided my gaze, then gave Eliass arm a playful, scolding squeeze.

"What a thing to say! Why would Charlotte stalk us? Its not like we have anything to hide. Im sure she understands, right?"

With those light, airy words, Savannah tossed the problem right back to me. I could only force a smile and reply, "That's right. You two are here for a prenatal check-up. What's that got to do with me? Why would I follow you?"

My bluntness infuriated Elias, and he shoved me. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? Savannah is like family to me!"

My body was still weak from the procedure. The push sent me stumbling to the ground. A sharp pain shot through my lower body, and I let out a hiss, my eyebrows knitting together tightly.

Seeing this, Savannah immediately knelt to help me up, chiding Elias, but her face was filled with a triumphant, provocative smirk.

I pushed her away in disgust and tried to use the wall to pull myself up. But to my shock, she used the momentum to sit down hard on the floor, clutching her stomach and crying out that she was in pain.

Elias rushed to her side, helped her up, and then roared at me, "If anything happens to Savannah, I'll make you pay!"

A cold sweat broke out all over my body as I watched my husband abandon me, wrapping his arm around another woman and rushing away.

In that moment, I was more certain than ever that Id made the right choice. A man who doesn't even love his own wife could never love her child.

Back home, I opened my phone, thinking of posting something, only to see Savannahs new Instagram Story. It was a picture of Elias from behind with the caption: "Feeling so safe and secure with a man who loves me by my side."

Below it were the thinly veiled comments from Elias's frat boy friends.

Tanner: "That back looks familiar. Guess some people never forget their first love. ?? #OldHabitsDieHard"

Jack: "This is the real power couple. Some people should have bowed out a long time ago. [beer emoji] [fist bump emoji]"

Noah: "Now thats the 'best gift.' If you know, you know. ???? #TheGiftThatKeepsOnGiving"

I quickly found Eliass reply in the comment section.

"Don't talk crap. I'm just helping out. Are you guys trying to make Charlotte divorce me with this bullshit?"

Tanner replied immediately, dripping with his typical gaslighting bullshit: "Relax, bro. We're just saying you're a stand-up guy. But for real, we all think you and Savannah have way more in common. Follow your heart, man. Don't let yourself be trapped by some heavy sense of duty."

Tanner was Eliass best friend since childhood. He never liked me, always thinking I wasn't good enough for his buddy and that I couldn't compare to Savannah in any way.

In his circle of arrogant pricks, I was less pretty, less charming, and less understanding than Savannah. In his eyes, I was worthless.

But for Elias, I had always put up with it. Now that our marriage was dead in all but name, I didn't have to care about anyone's feelings anymore.

I replied to Tanner: "Since you all love her so much, make sure you chip in for her lawyer's fees for the child support papers at the next get-together. #Karma"

After posting, I went to my own profile, selected two imagesDone was the ultrasound report from my pregnancy, the other was the receipt from the clinic procedure.

The caption: "Finally free."

3.

The moment I posted, my phone exploded with likes and comments.

But not a single like came from Eliass friends. They had all silently agreed to ignore it. But I bet they were on the phone with Elias right now, celebrating.

A moment later, my phone started ringing off the hook.

My parents, and Eliass parents, were all calling.

Elias was calling nonstop too. I didn't answer any of them, just sent a text to my parents.

"I'm coming home today. I'll tell you everything when I get there."

I quickly packed a suitcase. As I was leaving, I ran into Elias pulling into the driveway.

He got out of the car and stormed toward me.

"Charlotte Evans, what the hell is this? You'd really go through with that procedure over this?"

"Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?"

His barrage of questions made me physically sick. But at this point, there was no reason to argue with him anymore.

I ignored his fury, grabbed my suitcase, and walked down the steps toward the gate.

He grabbed my arm forcefully. "Is this fun for you? I told you, I'll cut her off after she has the baby. I've already compromised this much for you, how much further do you want to push me?"

His shameless words echoed in my ears. I couldn't take it anymore. I violently shook his hand off and looked him straight in the eye.

"Don't you dare ruin your pure, innocent friendship on my account. Tanner was right, you should follow your heart."

"Why would you want a difficult woman like me? You should go find someone who is more generous."

"I emailed you the digital copy of the Settlement Agreement. Make sure you sign it."

With that, I broke free from his grasp, pulled open the gate, and walked out.

His impotent roar followed me from behind: "You'll regret this!"

How could I possibly regret it? I was just thankful I had finally seen him for who he truly was. I would be so much better off without him.

When I got to my parents' house, they rushed to me, asking why I was getting a divorce.

My mom's eyes were red; she had clearly been crying.

I told them everything about Elias.

My mom hugged me, her heart breaking for me. "I told you from the beginning that man was no good."

My dad was silent for a moment before saying, "Good riddance."

My lip trembled, and I finally broke down, crying in my mother's arms.

They never approved of Elias from the start. They said they saw no love for me in his eyes.

But I had chased Elias for seven years before he finally agreed to date me.

Back then, I wouldn't listen to anyone's advice. I always believed I could make him fall in love with me over time.

Clearly, I had failed. We had still ended up at divorce.

I had bet all my time and energy on a man who didn't love me back. That was a choice I made, and I was the only one paying the price.

I waited a long time, but Elias still hadn't signed the papers. Finally, after I had my lawyer, Liam, officially file a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage with the court, he sent me a reluctant text message.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow. We're meeting at The Terrace Bar at the country club. Let's get everyone together and talk this out. Can you stop this drama? I'm exhausted. I'm being torn in two between Savannah and you."

"I apologize to you. Can't you try to understand my situation? I said I'd keep my distance from her, but she's pregnant and needs someone to look after her, especially since her husband isn't around."

4.

He claimed to be torn between me and Savannah, but his actions had proven time and again that he would always choose Savannah.

On our wedding day, he left me to go comfort Savannah, who had gotten into a fight with her husband.

On our anniversary, he left me to comfort Savannah, who was afraid of thunderstorms.

On my birthday, he went out to celebrate Savannah's promotion.

For every holiday, he bought two giftsDone for me, one for SavannahDmaintaining this ridiculous sense of fairness.

I complained to him about it countless times, but he always said, "it won't happen again." And then, the next time, he'd make the same mistake. When I brought it up too often, he'd say I was being too sensitive and making a big deal out of nothing.

Looking back, the happiest I ever was with him was the day he proposed.

There were so many surprises that day. He proposed on an observation deck high in the Rocky Mountains, far from the city's light pollution. The endless stars felt close enough to touch.

Finally, under the witness of the starry sky, he took out a sparkling ring and placed it on my finger. His eyes were sincere and passionate, his vows searing and profound.

That was the most serious he had ever been with me. It was a proposal he had planned for a long time, a ceremony that was just for the two of us.

When Elias saw I hadn't replied to his text, he called me directly. "Charlotte, I've already booked a table. We're all going to apologize to you. Just stop this, okay?"

I replied calmly, "Is Savannah coming?"

"Yes."

"Alright then. Come pick me up tomorrow."

If they wanted to apologize, why should they only apologize to me?

When Elias came to get me, Savannah was in the passenger seat. She gave me an apologetic smile through the window and gestured matter-of-factly at her stomach. "Sorry, Charlotte, I can't handle the smell of the leather seats in the back right now, it makes me nauseous. Plus, the front seat has a heater, which is better for the baby. Youll have to sit in the back."

I smiled back. "No problem."

The old me would have been upset. But now, nothing Elias and she could do would ever make me angry again.

It was worth noting that she had to sit in the passenger seat whenever she was in Elias's car. But I had seen her in other people's cars, and she never mentioned anything about leather smells or seat heaters.

We arrived at the club's terrace bar, a popular spot for the local social scene. Several other tables were filled with people drinking and chatting.

Elias's friends were already seated, waiting for the three of us.

Tanner was the first to greet me. He pulled me over to the seat next to him, his tone dripping with fake politeness. "Here, Charlotte, sit here. Drinks are on me tonight, as an apology."

There wasn't a hint of sincerity in his voice; instead, it was filled with an arrogance that screamed, "I'm doing you a favor, so you better take it."

Once everyone was seated, Tanner spoke first, swirling the whiskey in his glass. His voice wasn't loud, but it was just loud enough for the nearby tables to hear.

"Look, Charlotte, I'm a straight shooter. I really don't think you and my boy are a good fit. But what can I do? He's dead set on winning you back. So, for his sake, let's bury the hatchet."

As soon as he finished, Elias's other friends raised their glasses, mumbling some vague pleasantries with completely dismissive tones.

Seeing the tension ease, Elias quickly tried to smooth things over, encouraging everyone to drink.

But Savannah stood up, holding a glass of juice, and turned to me. "Charlotte, I want to apologize to you, too. Elias's feelings for me are just too deep, and I'm sorry you got hurt."

Elias quickly pulled her back down. "You did nothing wrong. You don't need to apologize."

Then, Elias looked at me and said earnestly, "I'm sorry. I didn't handle this relationship well."

"It's fine. But there's someone else who would like to hear an apology from you two."

Just as I finished speaking, a commotion broke out at the bar's entrance. A man in a sharp suit walked in.