When I Stopped Waiting

1.

Three days after the wild wedding party for our friends, I asked Julian for a divorce.

Was it because I drank that round for Lily at the club that night? He stubbed out his cigarette, his lips curling into that familiar, casual smile.

Yes.

Objection overruled. He chuckled, like a lawyer dismissing a trivial motion in court. "Stop fooling around, Nora."

For three of our four years in college, I followed him around like a shadow.

He was used to itDused to me always being there, just a glance away, like the lights of Manhattan that never go out.

But he would never know.

That drink was just the last straw.

I had already signed the offer from that top consulting firm in Frankfurt last week. The deposit for my new apartment was already in an overseas account.

Julian, this time, I'm the one leaving you.

Since that place in your heart will always be reserved for your "innocent girl"D

Then I will completely erase my own name from the script of your life.

...

"Just because I took that shot for Lily the other night?"

Julian's long fingers tapped on the mahogany desk, a rhythm he used when scolding an underling. The afternoon sun slanted through the floor-to-ceiling windows of his Wall Street office, highlighting the sharp line of his brow. He leaned forward, looking at me like I was a little girl throwing a tantrum.

"Nora, is it really that serious?"

I met his gaze, a slight smile on my lips. "It is."

He pressed his right hand to his temple, rubbing it slowly and heavilyDhis signature move when his patience was wearing thin.

"Are you sure," his Montblanc pen hovered over the separation agreement, "that if you sign this, you won't come back crying for me to take you back in a few days?"

My breath caught.

The tip of the pen tapped lightly on the "Asset Division" section, making a soft, unnerving sound.

"What was the last divorce threat about?" He looked up, his dark brown eyes empty of warmth. "You waited for me in the rain for four hours outside City Hall, begging me to come home. How many days did that last?"

He leaned back, the expensive leather of his chair groaning softly.

"This time, are you sure you can last three months?"

I looked up at him, my voice soft, but every syllable was crystal clear. "This time, it's for good."

"Begging you to come back," I paused, letting the words sink in, "will never happen again."

"Fine." He let out a short laugh. He didn't move from his chair, his eyes screaming, "I don't believe you."

I didn't say another word.

The agreement I had just signed was growing warm in my hands, its edges crumpled from my grip.

The moment I pulled open the heavy mahogany door, I saw her, the woman standing at the end of the hall.

She was holding a latte, leaning against the window and watching the Manhattan traffic crawl by like ants below.

The afternoon sun created a halo around her profile. I stopped in my tracks.

The woman turned her head at the sound.

Now I could see her clearlyDthe picture of innocence. Pale skin, slightly furrowed brows, and eyes that always seemed to hold a misty gaze. The kind of look that made men instinctively lower their voices, that sparked a desire to protect.

"Nora?" The woman spoke first, her voice soft and sweet, but the words were like velvet laced with thorns. "I heard you and Julian are fighting about a divorce?"

2.

A lump formed in my throat.

I remembered graduation day, when I timidly asked Julian if I could intern at his family's company. What had he said then?

"We have to avoid nepotism." He hadn't even looked up from his phone. "It wouldn't be good for you if rumors started spreading."

And now? Lily had been back in the country for less than a week, and here she was, holding a coffee, standing boldly in the executive hallway outside his office.

I didn't want to get into it with her, but Lily stepped sideways, blocking my path.

"Don't be in such a hurry to leave." Lily's voice was a warm whisper near my ear, carrying the scent of her coffee. "There are some things I've wanted to talk to you about for a while."

Her tone was soft, but her grip on my wrist was surprisingly strong.

Before I could speak, Lily's eyes darted over my shoulder.

Her voice changed instantly.

"Nora, please don't divorce him because of me. It's all my fault. I should have kept my distance. It's just... I just got back to the States, I don't have any friends here, I don't know anything. Julian is the only person I know, so I naturally relied on him a little more... I never thought it would make you so upset."

I couldn't help but let out a cold laugh.

"Relied on him?" I stared at her. "He brings you dinner when you work late? Until two in the morning? Or three? Does the company not have a night crew, or did you schedule yourself the graveyard shift?"

Her eyes instantly turned red, tears welling up, but she stubbornly held them back, looking like the tragic heroine of a movie.

"No, it's not like that, I just..."

"Just what?" My gaze was sharp. "Just that you bring him hand-poured coffee every day? Just that you play golf with him at the country club on weekends? Just that you happen to have hot soup ready when his stomach hurts? Just that you happen to be passing by the dry cleaner's when his shirts are ready? You know nothing about New York, but you know his tastes, his schedule, and his favorite dry cleaner by heart."

"Julian..." She sniffled, her voice choked with emotion, looking past me. "I really didn't mean it like that. Nora misunderstood, can you please help me explain? You know me, I get tongue-tied when I'm nervous, the more I try to explain, the worse it gets..."

Julian walked over from his office doorway, his gaze sweeping over me, his brow furrowed.

"Why are you saying all this to her?" His voice wasn't harsh, but it was heavy as a stone. "She just got back to the country. I'm the only one she knows at the company. Do you have to be so cruel?"

The hallway was quiet, except for the low hum of the central air.

And Lily's quiet, suppressed sobs, like fingernails scratching silk.

Suddenly, I just felt so tired of it all.

I turned and walked toward the elevator.

Back at our Upper East Side apartment, I slept until ten the next morning.

I opened my phone and the first thing I saw was a trending post.

#WallStreetPowerCoupleSpottedAtHotelLateNight#

The pictures showed Julian looking down at a smiling Lily under the dim lights of a hotel corridor. Another was from a Michelin-starred restaurant, where Lily pushed a dessert she had taken a bite of toward Julian. A third was a paparazzi shot in a parking garage, Lily reaching out to fix Julian's collar, her fingertips brushing his chin. He didn't pull away.

On the wrist that fixed his collar was a delicate silver chain.

It was from the same niche designer brand as the anniversary gift I once gave Julian.

Just then, a text message came through.

From Julian.

"Last night was a business dinner. Lily was there. The photos are just weird angles. Don't overthink it."

Sent at 3:17 AM.

Seven hours later, after he was done escorting another woman, he finally remembered me.

3.

I tapped on his profile picture.

Even now, his background was still that photo of us.

It was from our wedding day, on the lawn in Central Park. He was looking down at me. I was in my white gown, looking up and smiling. For once, he wasn't putting on an act; the corners of his lips were turned up, too. The photographer had captured a perfect moment. The sunlight that day was as soft as a lie, making it seem like we were actually in love.

I tapped the screen and blocked him.

Twenty minutes later, I went downstairs to the dining room. My parents were there.

My mom was cutting fruit. She looked up. "Why are your eyes so puffy?"

"Slept too much," I mumbled.

"If you couldn't sleep, just say so. Your brother just slammed his fork down and said he's going over to Julian's to beat the hell out of that bastard!"

"Sit down," my mom said, pulling my furious brother back. She sighed and turned to me. "Nora, marriage isn't a game. Maybe there was a misunderstanding. You should talk to Julian, really talk. Maybe it's like all the other times, you'll work it out..."

I set down my coffee cup, the porcelain making a sharp clink against the saucer.

"Mom, Dad, the divorce papers are already signed. We're just waiting for the lawyers to process them."

Everyone at the table froze.

My father put down his Wall Street Journal. After a few seconds of silence, he said, "But the merger between our family's company and the Ashford Group is still in progress..."

"Marriage is marriage. Business is business. I told him my personal life won't affect our companies' partnership."

My father nodded, said nothing more, and picked up his newspaper again.

My mother let out a soft sigh and pushed the plate of cut fruit toward me.

Just then, my phone lit up.

It was my best friend, Zoe.

"Two o'clock. The usual spot. Brunch. No excuses, get over here."

"Go ahead," my mom said. "It'll be good for you to get out."

Half an hour later, I was at our favorite French bistro.

Zoe had already ordered. I had just put two macarons on my plate when she started in on me.

"How can you even think about eating right now?" She glared at me, a look of pure exasperation on her face. "That Lily is practically walking all over you."

She put down her fork, her eyes suddenly sharp.

"This is not happening. Tonight, we're catching them in the act. I've got the hotel, the time, the room number. Everything."

I laughed. "Have you been watching too many soap operas?"

She stared at me, pointing her fork in the air.

"I'm serious."

I popped a macaron into my mouth, picked up my tea, and ignored her.

"Nora."

The voice came from above me.

I didn't look up.

Zoe's fork froze mid-air. She stared at something behind me like she'd seen a ghost.

Lily was standing by our table, holding a coffee cup.

Her eyes were downcast, her lashes curled, and a soft, harmless smile played on her lips.

"What a coincidence, you guys are here too."

Zoe snorted. "Coincidence? We've been sitting here for forty minutes. You're just seeing us now?"

Lily didn't answer her, just kept looking at me.

"Nora, I wanted to explain about those pictures."

I didn't say anything, just kept cutting my pancakes.

She waited a couple of seconds before continuing on her own.

"Julian and I were really just talking about work last night. Nothing else happened. The pictures were just a bad angle. I don't know who took them or why they were posted like that..."

She paused, her voice dropping, full of hurt.

"I've always been so envious of you. Being by his side for so many years, officially."

Zoe threw her fork down with a clatter. "You're envious? Is this your way of showing it? Posting an Instagram Story at three in the morning with your location tagged at his hotel?"

4.

Lily looked up, her eyes already red.

"I was just trying to do my job. I never wanted to ruin your marriage."

She looked at me, a tear trembling on her lash, pitiful and perfect.

"I know you both hate me. But Nora, I really didn't..."

She took a step forward.

Her hand "accidentally" knocked over the coffee cup at the edge of the table.

Scalding, dark brown liquid splashed toward me.

I dodged to the side. Most of it hit the hem of my skirt. A little bit splashed onto the table, dripping to the floor.

The cup shattered on the ground.

The entire restaurant went silent.

Zoe shot up from her chair, its legs scraping loudly against the floor.

"You did that on purpose."

Lily shook her head, waving her hands frantically. "No, I didn't, I was just trying to... It was an accident..."

"An accident?" Zoe's voice rose. "I saw you walk over here and knock that cup over with your own hand, and you're telling me it was an accident?"

Lily wouldn't look at her. She just stared at me, her eyes wide with innocence.

The coffee stain spread across my expensive silk skirt, a dark brown blotch that would never wash out.

I glanced down at it, then looked back up at her, my voice calm.

"Do you have any idea how much this skirt costs?"

Lily froze.

"Five thousand dollars," I said. "I just picked it up from the designer last week. I haven't even taken the tags off."

She opened her mouth, but no sound came out.

Zoe already had her phone out and was recording. "Well, if it was an accident, you can explain it to the cops. This is destruction of private property."

Lily's face went white.

An hour later, we were at the local police precinct.

The door to the mediation room opened, and Julian walked in.

His eyes scanned the room, landing first on Lily. She was huddled in the corner of a bench, her eyes red and her lashes damp. A bright red burn mark on the back of her hand stood out.

Then, he saw me.

"What happened?" He frowned, his voice laced with exhaustion.

Lily stood up, her voice soft and hoarse. "Julian, it's my fault. I shouldn't have bothered Nora..."

Zoe let out a cold laugh. "You're right, you shouldn't have. And you definitely shouldn't have knocked a cup of coffee all over her."

Julian's gaze fell on the back of Lily's hand. "Did you get burned?"

Lily shook her head, but a single tear fell, hitting the linoleum floor with perfect timing. "It's fine, it doesn't hurt."

"It doesn't hurt?" Zoe held up her phone. "Maybe I should post this video online and let everyone else be the judge. We can all see who walked over, who knocked the cup over, and who burned herself and is now playing the victimD"

"That's enough," Julian cut her off.

He turned to me, his brow furrowed, clearly finding the whole situation absurd.

"You called the cops over this?"

I just stared at him.

He sighed, softening his tone as if making a huge concession. "Lily just got back to the country. She doesn't know how things work here, and she's very sensitive. Don't hold it against her. It was an accident. Did you really have to make such a scene?"