The Last Ticket Stub

1.

After four years together, Elias suddenly suggested we go to City Hall and make it official.

But a week before our appointment, deep inside his camera bag, I found a few perfectly preserved concert ticket stubs.

They were for my favorite indie rock band, a band Elias was always too busy with work to see with me.

I sat on the old leather chair in my study for a long time, clutching those tickets.

I didn't move until the sky outside was completely dark. Then, I finally stood up and called Professor Miller, asking to join the "Alaskan Polar Ecology Expedition" leaving in two weeks.

On the day the bride was supposed to be at City Hall, she was a no-show. And he, apparently, was tearing the world apart looking for me.

Two weeks earlier, after seeing an off-Broadway show with Elias, he casually asked me in the middle of the crowded lobby:

"Harper, what do you say we get married?"

He said it so casually, his eyes still fixed on a movie poster on the theater wall.

I whispered yes.

Elias and I had been together for years. At every Thanksgiving dinner, our relatives would tease us about when we were tying the knot.

I always thought marriage was just a piece of paper.

But when he finally asked, I felt a wave of happiness so strong I thought I would burst.

The next day, I dragged Elias to pick out engagement rings, then made him try on wedding dresses and contact photographers. We were up until three in the morning.

Elias said since we were just signing papers at City Hall, we didn't need to make such a big deal out of it.

But I couldn't help myself. I started creating frantic wedding inspiration boards on Pinterest.

Engagement photos, the reception in Napa Valley, the honeymoon tripDI had printed out dozens of pages of my plans.

Until today, I believed Elias was the man I would spend the rest of my life with.

This afternoon, I wanted to export our photos from the DSLR to make digital invitations, but in the side pocket, my fingers brushed against those old ticket stubs.

I looked through them, one by one. Without exception, they were all for that one band's tours.

They started from Elias's sophomore year of college and went all the way to this year. I couldn't even count how many there were.

The stubs were carefully preserved in plastic sleeves, with words written on the back in permanent marker.

[Sophomore year, Boston. The first time we escaped Earth's gravity together.]

[Senior year, Seattle. You said this was all you needed.]

The most recent one read:

[Maybe this is the last time we'll feel the summer wind.]

So, all these years, he had been going to every single concert with someone else.

And I was the fool who was kept in the dark.

A bitter taste rose in my throat, and my stomach churned.

Elias and I were opposites. He was rational and pragmatic; I was emotional and artistic.

I used to keep all our old train tickets and boarding passes from our trips together in a scrapbook.

But I lost it during one of our moves, and I was heartbroken for a long time.

Elias thought I was ridiculous. He asked why I would keep "worthless scraps of paper," calling it a classic hoarding habit.

After that, I never saved another ticket.

He could never remember the anniversary of when we met. He even got my birthday wrong sometimes.

I always told myself it was just typical guy behavior, that it didn't mean he didn't care about me.

Now, seeing these ticket stubs, always in pairs, I felt like a complete joke.

I suddenly remembered the first time Elias introduced me to his best friend, Josh. When I got up to use the restroom, I overheard Josh ask him, "Are you really over Chloe?"

I heard it, but I didn't ask.

At our age, everyone has a past.

2.

Only now did I remember the dazed look on Elias's face at that moment.

If he was never over her, why the hell did he propose to me?

I took a deep breath, put the tickets back where I found them, and dialed my professor's number.

"Professor Miller, that Alaska project you mentioned are there still any spots left?"

Professor Miller was surprised, but his voice was filled with relief.

"I was just worrying about that! None of the students these days want to suffer on the tundra. It's freezing and completely cut off from the world. But Harper, I thought you were busy planning a wedding?"

"I'm not anymore, Professor. I can go."

The words came out strained, and I was afraid if I said anything more, the tears would start to fall.

After hanging up, I automatically opened my text messages with Elias.

The last time he'd replied to me was three days ago.

A cold calm washed over me.

So for the past few days, while I had been excitedly rambling to him about wedding details, he hadn't even sent back a single emoji.

I opened his Instagram and finally noticed his bio. It was just one sentence:

[Time is a ticket stub in the backlight.]

A sharp pain shot through my chest, and I stumbled.

He had never changed that bio in all the years I'd known him.

I once asked him what it meant, and he said it was just some lyric he'd copied down.

Now I finally understood its real meaning.

His heart had always beaten for her. It never changed.

I dragged a suitcase out of the storage closet and mechanically started throwing in some cold-weather gear from my wardrobe.

I was only halfway done when my phone rang. It was Josh.

"Harper, Elias got in a car accident. You need to come to Harborview Medical Center, now."

In the background, I could faintly hear a soft female voice. "Elias, breathe deep. Don't be scared."

The voice was gentle, but a chill ran down my spine.

Josh hung up immediately.

I went to the bathroom and splashed handfuls of icy water on my face, trying to snap myself out of it.

3.

It took me two hours of driving on I-5 to get to the hospital.

As I approached the door to his room, I could hear people talking inside.

"Thank God Chloe was here today. We were all freaking out. But Chloe, what made you come back from Europe all of a sudden?"

I knocked, and the room fell silent.

Elias was lying on the bed with his eyes closed, his hand gripping another woman's hand tightly.

When Josh saw me, he said softly, "Elias, Harper's here."

But Elias didn't let go of her hand. He just slowly opened his eyes and gave me a cold, indifferent glance.

"Blood so much blood!"

The woman immediately covered his eyes and gently stroked his back. "It's a hallucination, Elias. Don't be scared. I'm here."

Josh looked awkward. He leaned closer to Elias and whispered, "Dude, you don't recognize her? It's Harper."

Then he turned to me and explained, "We were near Mount Rainier and got caught in a storm. The car flipped. When Elias woke up, he kept saying he saw blood everywhere. The doctor said it's retrograde amnesia from the concussion. His memory and vision might be a little mixed up."

"Chloe, can you take me away from here? I'm so scared. There's blood everywhere, and strangers," Elias whispered, tightening his grip around Chloe's waist.

Everyone in the room just shook their heads helplessly.

Chloe patiently soothed him for a while until he finally settled back down, but their hands remained clasped together.

Josh finally introduced us.

"This is Chloe, a friend from high school. She was just back from Berlin on vacation and joined us for a reunion hike. Elias's condition should get better with time. Don't take it personally."

Don't take it personally? I laughed coldly to myself.

Elias chased Chloe for three years in high school, and it was clear to everyone in this room that he never really got over her.

And now, a simple "don't take it personally" was supposed to make me pretend like nothing happened.

Chloe glanced at me, seemingly not paying any attention to Josh's introduction, her gaze quickly returning to Elias's face.

When Josh mentioned that we were about to get married at City Hall, Elias suddenly looked up and asked, "Josh, who are you talking to? Who's getting married?"

My fists clenched, my nails digging deep into my palms.

The concussed Elias remembered Chloe, he remembered Josh, but he had completely forgotten me.

So this was how little I mattered to him. A mark so faint that the slightest jolt could erase it completely.

There was never any room for me in his heart.

"It's getting late, we should probably go. Harper, we'll leave Elias with you," Josh said, giving a look to the others. They all started to leave.

Chloe slowly tried to pull her hand from Elias's. "I'll come see you tomorrow," she said softly.

But Elias grabbed her hand, his face filled with panic. "Are you going to leave me again? Are you just going to fly away? I'm so scared. Can't you just stay with me? Please? Aren't you worried about me at all?"

In that instant, the last wall I had built around my heart crumbled.

Over the years, I had told him countless times that I would always be his rock, that he could lean on me for anything.

But he always said that people need to learn to be independent, that over-reliance on others was a sign of immaturity.

He never showed a single shred of vulnerability in front of me and demanded the same from me.

The time I had the flu with a high fever, I just locked myself in the guest room, found my own Tylenol, boiled my own water, and ordered my own soup for delivery.

At first, I used to fight with him about it, telling him how cold it was. Eventually, I just gave in, assuming it was just his "independent personality."

I thought that was just his nature, that he didn't know how to express dependence.

But today, I finally understood. He just didn't want to depend on me, and he didn't want me to depend on him.

"Okay, I won't go. I'll stay here with you tonight. You just rest, okay?"

Chloe patted his back, gently repositioning his head on the pillow, her eyes full of tenderness.

Everyone's eyes were on me, their expressions a mixture of pity and awkwardness.

Chloe looked at me too, as if asking for my permission.

I clenched my fists so hard my knuckles turned white, my heart twisting in agony.

I stared at the two of them for a long moment, then, for the sake of my own dignity, I finally spoke. "I'll come pick you up tomorrow."

Elias just kept his eyes glued on Chloe, as if afraid she would flutter away like a butterfly. He didn't even spare me a single glance.