My Fake Brother Is My Bodyguard

The day the Grants arrived at St. Agnes Orphanage to choose a child to adopt.

I was wrestling Bandit, the scruffy dog.

trying to jam Sister Agnes's spare dentures into his mouth.

I pried his jaws open and shoved the teeth in.

Click.

Perfect.

He'd lost three of his teeth in a fight with some street dogs yesterday and had been moping pathetically over his breakfast bowl.

That's when inspiration struck.

I remembered the two spare sets of dentures in Sister Agnes's desk drawer.

If she had extras, why not share with Bandit?

"Hold still, you big baby," I grunted, prying his jaws open as he whined and squirmed.

Bandit shook his head, confused at first, then seemed to realize he could chew properly again.

Live Comments chattered frantically in my head,

[Mia! Forget the dog! The Grants' car is at the gate! Ethan's here!]

[Get to the front office! Remember he doesn't speak! Be his beacon of hope!]

[ He might marry some socialite later for appearances, but that's just for show! His true love is YOU!]

[Holy crap! Sister Agnes's footsteps! Mia! Hide! Take Bandit and hide! Now!]

I scrambled up, yanking open the supply closet dooronly to find a boy already crouched inside.

We stared at each other in the dim light.

His eyes went wide, mouth opening to shout.

Reacting on instinct, I clamped a hand over his mouth and tried to pull him out to make room for Bandit.

But he gripped the doorframe with surprising strength.

Sister Agnes's footsteps were right outside now!

In panic, I drew my leg back and delivered a solid kick right on his butt!

Out you go!

Ow!

He tumbled out of the closet, landing hard on the wooden floor.

I ducked inside and pulled the door nearly shut, peering through the crack.

Live Comments,

[WRONG BOY! That's Liam Murphy!]

[Since when are the Murphys here today too?! This wasn't in the script!]

My stomach dropped.

Outside the closet, Sister Agnes's furious voice cut through the air.

Bandit! How did youwait, what's in your mouth?!

Through the crack, I watched Bandit trot past Sister Agnes, the dentures gleaming in his jaws before he bolted down the hallway.

The boy I'd kicked out slowly rose, rubbing his lower back.

His dark eyes found mine through the crack in narrow opening, intense and unreadable.

A chill ran down my spine.

Sure enough, he lifted his hand and pointed directly at my hiding spot.

You

A beautifully dressed woman appeared at the doorway, sounding surprised.

Liam? What are you doing back here?

Sister Agnes, momentarily distracted from the denture thief, stared in surprise at the boy's sudden appearance.

The boy calledLiamannounced loudly.

Mom, I don't want to look anyone else.

I want the girl in the closet.

The closet door flew open.

Mia Murphy!

Sister Agnes's voice boomed through the room.

It's! You! Again!

Seeing I was busted, I shot Liam a death glare before slowly crawling out.

Sister Agnes, I said, blinking innocently, There was a huge rat in here! I was trying to catch it for you!

Sister Agnes looked like she might explode.

Mia! I haven't seen you all morning, knew you were causing trouble she caught sight of the elegant woman beside him and choked back the rest of her anger, face purpling as she forced a strained smile.

Mrs. Murphy, this child has an exceptionally lively personality. Perhaps you'd like to see some of our other children? All very well-behaved. She she's a bit special. Probably not suitable for your family .

What made me so "special"?

Just because last night I'd hidden under Sister Agnes's bed and accidentally Was it because yesterday I'd accidentally stumbled upon Sister Agnes secretly hoarding the donation funds meant for our new playground equipment?

Was that reason enough to hold it against me?

Mrs. Murphy inquired, leaning forward with keen interest. What makes her so 'special'?

Sister Agnes shifted uncomfortable, her rosary beads clinking. She has a tendency to notice things she shouldn't.

I seized the opportunity, nodding earnestly. Yes! Exactly! Sister Agnes always says I have a gift for finding trouble!

Sister Agnes's eye twitched, her expression a mixture of panic and resignation.

My so-called unluckiness never meant I was unlucky.

It was my uncanny ability to uncover secrets better left buried.

Bandit remained the only one immune to my curious nature.The other children?

They suffered everything from minor incidents like choking on water or food, to major ones

Like Timmy, who somehow managed to get himself wedged headfirst in a toilet bowl, stuck fast.

Sister Agnes had even consulted Father Michael about my "special nature."

He'd suggested more prayer, which apparently meant hoping I'd develop selective blindness.

But I felt truly wronged!

Take the water incident. I'd simply said I could chug a whole bottle.

Little Billy didn't believe me, thought he could do better, grabbed a gallon jug and started guzzling, nearly turning himself into a water balloon.

Or the eating contest. I said I could only manage one bowl of rice per bite. Little Linda decided to challenge that, packed her bowl solid like a brick, and shoved it in her mouth, nearly choking to death on the spot.

And poor Timmy in the toilet? I'd just kindly pointed out there seemed to be a snake swimming around in the bowl. He got so scared he slipped, sat down hard, and got stuck. I ran to get help, but they were handing out animal crackers the smell

Well, I got distracted.

When I was five, the words first appearedfloating commentaries on everyone around me.

Other children saw nothing, but to me, the world came with subtitlesg.

Through these mysterious messages, I'd learned my birth parents were the illustrious Sinclair of Seattlethe kind of people whose charity galas made the society pages.

The Live Comments claimed I was the true heiress, switched at birth, and the girl currently living as Chloe Sinclair was an imposter. Now that caught my attention.

Playing the villain?

That sounded far more interesting than singing hymns in the choir!

I was born with a bad luck aura strong enough to wilt flowers within a ten-foot radius!

I kinda wanted to meet her, see who was worse.

Mrs. Murphy's eyes sparkled with recognition.

How remarkable! Our Liam has a similar... talent for uncovering things.She glanced meaningfully at her son. "Perhaps these two are meant to find each other."

Me, ???

Wait, what?

Live Comments,

[Talent? That kid's just a walking disaster zone! He blew up the school bathroom and nearly buried the principal!]

[And remember! He put his pet snake in his deskmate's backpack, told him it was buried treasure! Kid nearly had a heart attack! Snake got loose after it was confiscated, whole school shut down, snake wranglers called in!]

[The craziest? He dug a hole and buried himself to tell on' his dad to his ancestors! Said he wanted them to take Dad away'! All because his dad spanked him!]

My eyes widened. This wasn't just curiositythis was professional-level investigation!

An unexpected sense of camaraderie washed over me.

Liam Murphy turned, his dark eyes locking onto mine.

Do you want to be my sister?

I snapped back to reality, tilting my head. What's in it for me?

Live Comments erupted in panic,

[Mia! Wake up! Your soulmate is the quiet hottie next door, Ethan Grant!]

[Ethan! Ethan! Hurry! The antagonist is stealing your redemption arc heroine!]

[Okay but let's be fair, the antagonist has it rough too. His parents are about to die in a crash, their fortune gets stolen, he end up homeless Maybe if he needs someone, too?]

[But Ethan just survived a kidnapping! He's way more traumatized! Easier to 'save'! Mia, focus!]

Liam thumped his chest. If you get into trouble, I'll take the blame!

Mrs. Murphy sighed, rubbing her temples. Liam, if you have a little sister, you'll be the big brother. You need to learn to be responsible, protect her, and stop doing those dangerous things, understand?

Oh~

Lightbulb moment.

So his parents were hoping I'd be a good influence on him?

They were going to be sorely disappointed.

I was clearly cut from the same chaotic cloth as their son.

Just then, commotion erupted at the office door.

Live Comments cheered,

[He's here! Ethan Grant has arrived! The plot is trying to self-correct!]

[Wow! Ethan spotted Mia instantly! He's staring! That intense gaze!]

As I processed this, a small, hesitant hand reached out, trying to tug my sleeve.

It was a delicate, pretty boy.

Ethan Grant?

I reacted instantly, swatting his hand away and grabbing his wrist, holding it up.

Did you just wipe your nose without washing your hands?

Ethan froze, his pale face flushing crimson instantly.

I pinched his fingers, forcing him to look. See? See? It's sticky right here! That's so gross!

Liam leaned in with theatrical horror. Whoa! Seriously? You don't wash your hands?

Ethan's eyes welled up instantly. Tears shimmered as he yanked his hand back and bolted toward the nearest bathroom.

By the time he returned, meticulously scrubbed and ready to try again, the adoption papers were signed.

I stood firmly with the Murphys.

Liam shot me a triumphant grin.

Live Comments,

[...]

[I never imagined the male lead would lose the heroine over basic hygiene.]

[I mean, he's only seven but yeah, no defending that. It's gross.]

Meanwhile, Ethan tugged urgently on his parents' sleeves, his eyes still red, staring straight at me.

I stuck my tongue out and made an exaggerated face at him.

He gathered his courage, pointed at me, and managed two garbled words.

Sis ter

Mrs. Grant froze, then gasped with joy. Ethan? You you spoke?!

Mr. Grant was equally excited, stepping forward, his tone urgent as he addressed Mrs. Murphy. Mrs. Murphy would it be possible could we discuss perhaps letting this little girl

I ducked behind Liam, peeking out with just half my face visible.

Liam spread his arms protectively, No way! She's my sister! Back off!

Mom! If you don't let me keep her, I'll wear that ripped-up designer skirt you hide at the bottom of your closet to school tomorrow!

Mrs. Murphy's face turned scarlet. She lunged to cover his mouth. Liam Murphy! Hush!

Mr. Murphy swatted his back. You little terror! Just wait until we got home!