The Hand Job Confession

When we were playing King's Cup, my husband's childhood friend was asked to share the most intimate thing she'd ever done with a man.

Amber looked at me with a teasing grin.

I gave Ryan a hand job.

The room erupted.

Hearing that, I clutched my five-month-pregnant belly.

Yet Amber shrugged dismissively,

"Oh, chill. It was back when you got pregnant while he was desperately in need."

"Don't thank me, Vivian. Just helping out my buddy. Better than him cheating because he couldn't help it, right?"

The words hung in the air.

Ryan picked up a half-eaten cucumber and put it in Amber's hand.

"Shut it, will you? With your amateur skills? They dont hold a candle to my wife!"

Amber laughed, took a bite of the cucumber and added suggestively,

"Gotta say, it feels pretty similar to this though."

The crowd burst out laughing together, creating an invisible barrier that shut me out.

No one looked at me.

No one thought I needed to be considered.

As if I shouldn't be there with a five-month-pregnant belly.

The game continued, and Ryan lost this time.

The punishment was: "French kiss a girl for three minutes."

The only women present were me and Amber.

Everyone instinctively pushed Ryan towards Amber.

"Come on, it's just a game! Anyone who takes it seriously is an idiot!"

He was laughing. She was play-fighting. The group was holding up phones, cheering and taking pictures.

I couldn't take it anymore, slamming my glass onto the floor.

Glass shattered. Screams erupted.

In the dead silence, I straightened up slowly, one hand supporting my back.

"Want something even wilder?"

"Let me help you out!"

I dialed 911.

"Hello, officer? There's a group engaging in lewd behavior in public here..."

Ryan was the first to react, lunging to grab my phone.

"Vivian, are you insane? It's just a game! Is this necessary?"

Seeing his hand still resting on Amber's waist, I suddenly laughed, tears flooding my eyes without warning.

"Ryan, when the baby's born, how are you going to explain it?"

"Say Daddy couldn't control his dick, and Mommy was a complete idiot?"

Ryan's face turned cold. Yet he still stood shielding Amber, who was pouting dramatically.

"You're going too far. I told you that it's just a game!"

Ignoring his nonsense, I turned to leave.

Ryan grabbed my wrist.

"My buddies heard you were pregnant and threw this party for you. Do you really have to ruin it?"

Oh, buddies again.

Smack!

I spun around and slapped him hard across the face.

The entire room went deathly silent.

Amber stepped forward, hooked her arm around Ryan's neck, and pulled him into a headlock against her chest.

"Listen to me, Ryan! Stop being rude to Vivian!"

She chuckled, feigning exasperation.

"Vivian, Ryan and I grew up together. We used to share bathwater and sleep in the same bed! You know, he doesn't see me as a girl!"

She then shoved Ryan towards me.

"Apologize to Vivian already! She's having your baby!"

The others looked at me with disdain. Ryan stiffened, refusing to back down.

Amber whispered something in his ear, giggling.

He finally gave a half-smile, then reluctantly looked at me.

"My bad, alright?"

A wave of nausea hit me so hard that it choked me.

I walked out of the room without looking back.

I hadn't expected Ryan to follow me home.

All the way, my stomach clenched with sharper and sharper pains, but all I heard was his complaining.

"You get pregnant and lose your mind?"

"Amber's my buddy! How can you even be jealous of that?"

"Might as well chain me to your belt like a dog! Seems like you suspect anyone!"

"Have you no brain? If anything was really going on, would she dare say it out loud like that?!"

Something inside me shattered with a final crack.

"Enough, Ryan!"

"I've put up with you two for too long!"

I was trembling with rage. All the buried resentment felt like slaps across my face.

"When I was hospitalized, you were getting manicures with her."

"When I was bleeding and trying to save this pregnancy, you were winning stuffed animals with her."

"Every single time I needed you, you were with your best 'buddy'! Right up until today!"

I gasped for breath, tears streaming down my face.

"She described that disgusting 'hand job' to my face, and you kept flirting with her!"

"When I couldn't take it and called the cops, you screamed that I was crazy!"

"From that moment on."

"We're done, Ryan."

No response.

I suddenly realized why Ryan's voice had turned gentle.

"Don't worry, I'm here. I'll protect you."

Turning my head, I discovered he was wearing headphones, taliking to Amber while gaming.

...

The sounds of virtual combat from the bedroom lasted until midnight.

I sat alone on the balcony, stroking my violently kicking belly, and dialed my doctor.

"I'd like to schedule an abortion."

The next morning.

I was jolted awake by a sharp pain in my belly and struggled to find Ryan.

He was lounging on the sofa, legs crossed.

His phone buzzed constantly. He was glowing.

I called his name several times before he glanced up.

Seeing my pale face, he paused, hurried to help me sit, and started massaging my shoulders with moderate pressure.

"Babe, I can't stay with you today. Mr Arlington needs me to discuss buying that yacht for the company's new cruise line."

He said it lightly, as if yesterday's events were already settled.

He always did this.

As if freezing me out made the problem disappear.

The intense pain made me instinctively grab his hand, but his other hand was still typing intently, completely ignoring me.

From outside the house came Amber's loud, careless shout,

"Ryan! I'm here! What's taking so long?"

Ryan instantly wrenched his hand free, dropped his phone, and bolted for the door.

Left behind, the screen of his phone lit up.

A group chat titled "Princess Amber & Her Knights" was pinned at the top.

I clicked on it without thinking and froze.

"Vivian's such a drama queen. Told you ages ago she wasn't right for you, but you wouldn't listen."

"Having an outsider at every hangout is exhausting. You should've just married Amber!"

Amber sent a tongue-sticking-out emoji:

"LOL, it's my birthday today! Why bring up that? Ryan promised to buy me a yacht! This princess will live by the sea!"

Right below, Ryan teased:

"My life is yours, sweetheart."

Amber immediately replied:

"Then I command you: no bringing the wife today!"

"Yo Ryan, I saw Amber packed a bikini! Who's the real birthday present?"

It felt like a bucket of ice water dumped over me.

I remembered when I first tried to fit in Ryan's circle, everyone acted friendly.

But I mistook politeness for acceptance.

They were an impenetrable fortress. I was always the unwanted outsider.

Trembling, I pulled out my phone and took pictures of every page.

When Ryan came back for his phone, I was curled on the sofa in pain.

He didn't even glance at me, eager to leave.

"Babe, my buddies want to check out the yacht too. You're huge and can't really hang with them anyway, so don't bother coming."

Face deathly pale, I grabbed the hem of his shirt.

"My stomach hurts. Can you please take me to the hospital?"

That question was the last chance I gave him.

If he walked out now, I'd walk away from him too.

During the tense silence, Amber smacked her lips impatiently outside,

"Hurry up! I'm roasting!"

Ryan violently shook off my hand, utterly exasperated.

"Stop faking! You were fine a minute ago! I hate it when you use the baby as leverage."

He shoved me hard back onto the sofa. My heart died with that shove.

Amber barged in, grabbed Ryan's ear, and scolded,

"Why are you so mean to Vivian? Pregnant women get like this! They want everyone fussing over them."

Ryan snorted, dripping with contempt.

"If she had one-tenth of your chill, I wouldn't be this annoyed."

His gaze suddenly dropped to Amber's bikini strap. He reached out and tugged it, adjusting it with a familiarity that spoke volumes.

"Dumbass! Didn't see it was loose?"

Amber tilted her head, enjoying the attention, giggling.

"Easy! You're hurting me."

Ryan's hand lingered on her bare back as he adjusted it, grinning wickedly.

"Nah, it feels like an airport runway."

Amid the laughter, they disappeared around the corner.

I dialed Ethan Arlington directly.

"I'll meet you at the yacht later."

He replied, "Okay."

Ryan didn't know Ethan was my childhood friend.

Twenty-plus years of straightforward friendship.

I knew exactly what true platonic friendship looked like.

Ryan and I had spent six years together.

I needed to see with my own eyes how rotten this relationship really was.

The salty sea breeze hit me.

Screams and laughter mingled on the deck of the luxury yacht.

I stood leaning against a nearby railing, wearing sunglasses and a mask.

Amber, in her tiny bikini, pressed herself tightly against Ryan, who wore only swim trunks.

They were playing the vulgar "pass the tissue" game.

Amber deliberately bit the tissue down to a tiny corner.

Ryan leaned in several times but couldn't grasp it.

"Ryan loses! Punishment time!"

Someone yelled, "How about a public confession to Amber?"

Amber giggled and flopped onto Ryan's lap, playfully punching his chest. "Oh my god, so embarrassing!"

Another voice chimed in,

"Confessions are boring at this point!"

"Amber, spill the details! What exactly went down that time? Tell us about the hand job!"

Amid the teasing, Amber suddenly made a playful grab.

Ryan blocked it deftly, laughing,

"Rebelling against your daddy?"

During their play, Ryan accidentally grabbed one of the thin strings of Amber's bikini top and flicked it.

The tie instantly came undone!

As Amber shrieked, Ryan yanked her hard against his body and roared at everyone,

"Turn around! All of you! Don't look!"

Waves crashed against the boat.

He gently retied the string for her, his fingertips brushing her bare back.

Their gazes locked. Sparks flew.

And there I was, hidden in the shadows, spying on their happiness.

Pathetically watching the father of my child protect another woman by instinct.

Beside me, Ethan intended to charge forward, but I held him back.

I dialed Ryan's number.

From my spot, I saw his phone light up.

He glanced at it dismissively and never answered.

Amber saw the "Wife" caller ID and pouted.

"You promised to spend time with me. No distractions. Not even her, or I'll never speak to you again."

Ryan smiled, picked up his phone, and dropped it into a glass of wine, raising an eyebrow.

"Satisfied, my princess?"

Amber smiled at him, and he lifted her high above his head, spinning her around.

Her excited screams filled the sea air.

I put down the phone, the recording finished, and realized my tears had soaked my mask.

Six years meant nothing after all.

Ryan, hope you're ready for the deepest circle of hell.

Eventually, they sat down to chat.

Amber's voice carried on the wind,

"Actually, on Ryan's wedding night, I got wasted."

"I said I might just marry anyone. He freaked out and came straight to me with Vivian's veil."

"Funny, right? We ended up play-acting like we were getting married."

My heart clenched.

I remembered that custom-made veil I'd searched for forever. Ryan said it got dirty at the cleaners and was accidentally lost.

Amber added with a laugh,

"I joked that I'd never marry anyone else after that 'wedding' with him."

"And I wanted a kid with him without the pain of childbirth. Guess what my idiot did?"

Ryan sipped his drink, not stopping her.

Amber raised her glass triumphantly,

"He actually took me seriously! Took me straight to get embryos made!"

She winked at Ryan, prompting him,

"Ryan, what happened to the embryo?"

Ryan downed his drink, his eyes darkening,

"The baby Vivian's carrying now? That's the IVF embryo from Amber and me."

My mind went blank.

I heard Ethan's furious "Bastard!" Ryan's indifferent expression swam before my eyes.

I clutched my stomach.

It kicked violently, as if sensing my agony.

I only felt the bitter irony.

From the very start of trying, Ryan lied, saying his sperm motility was low and IVF had a better chance.

Countless days and nights of nausea-inducing pills, my belly bruised purple from injections.

The day it implanted successfully, he'd kissed my belly tenderly,

"Be good, little one. Daddy will make sure you and Mommy are the happiest people alive."

Turns out, that promise was never meant for me.

Amber's voice drifted over again, dripping venom,

"Ryan's smart. Look at Vivian's body now all distorted."

"Ugh, I'd hate to turn into some ugly housewife like her."

I couldn't listen anymore. I turned to leave.

A massive wave slammed into the yacht, rocking it violently.

Amber, standing near the edge and oblivious, was thrown overboard.

Amid screams, Ryan grabbed a lifebuoy and plunged into the sea without hesitation.

I froze.

He was terrified of water.

He truly would risk his life for her.

I turned away, refusing to watch his heroic act, and headed straight to the hospital for the abortion.

As the anesthetic flowed into my veins, my last conscious thought was:

Ryan, you can go to hell.

...

I woke up.

Only Ethan was there, eyes red-rimmed.

Instinctively, my hand went to my belly. Flat.

A strange sense of relief washed over me.

I turned my head, voice hoarse.

"Where's Ryan?"

Ethan looked away, silently handing me his phone playing a video.

The shaky footage showed Amber on the beach, frantically giving Ryan CPR.

When he coughed back to life, she instantly clung to him.

"Ryan, I can't lie to myself anymore."

"I love you! Ryan, you big idiot! I love you!"

Amid cheers, they kissed passionately, soaked and tangled.

The princess and her knight had saved each other.

I was the only pathetic, laughable woman.

The next video showed Ryan carrying Amber bridal-style into a hotel.

Simultaneously, my phone buzzed with a text from an unknown number:

"Babe, my phone drowned. Borrowing a friend's."

"Still tied up here. Won't make it back tonight. Sweet dreams to you and the baby~"

I stared at that message for a long, long time.

Then, slowly, I sat up.

"Ethan, pack the... remains of baby... into a cooler."

"Then hire a hype team. The kind with super loud, gossipy ladies."

"What are you planning?" Ethan asked.

I said each word deliberately,

"I'm taking this little 'gift' to the hotel with a parade to celebrate their reunion!"

With the band ready, I started a live-stream, pretending to be exasperated.

"Hey everyone, your host is having major drama! Hubby says his buddy is just a childhood friend, but I'm not buying it."

Chat immediately flooded:

[Jealous much? Men and women CAN be just friends.]

I shook my head dramatically.

"No, no, your host is NOT petty! After the fight with my hubby's buddy, I did some soul-searching."

I paused, watching viewers pour in.

"If there is something going on, I won't mess around. I'll celebrate their reunion myself!"

Insults and sympathy battled in the chat.

I got the room key and marched the hype team towards the room.

I kicked the door open.

The room was trashed. Two barely dressed bodies scrambled apart.

I covered my mouth in mock surprise,

"Wow! Looks like you guys are having a blast! What great buddies you are!"