The World's Worst Horror Boss

I got sucked into a horror game and somehow became the most infamous boss.

My colleagues whispered behind my back, calling me a pushover and an embarrassment to the whole boss community.

I just gave them a bitter smile.

They didn't understand. It's called family hierarchy.

Who knew the players entering my dungeon would be my mom or my grandma!

...

It was time for the monthly Horror Game Boss Summit.

Once again, I predictably landed in the last place.

No surprise, because players leaving my dungeon have never been frightened, but they were practically skipping out, grinning from ear to ear.

How was I supposed to collect any Horror Points like that?!

The Big Boss sat at the head of the table, tapping my annual report with a long finger.

"Why? Didn't I teach you the tricks? Explain to me!"

I nodded glumly.

Yeah, yeah. The tricks were like:

Rip your head off immediately for a warm welcome!

Detach casually an arm or a leg for their dinner!

Or hang over their bed at night, savoring their blood-curdling screams!

I know the theory.

But... I just can't do it!

After the meeting, this month's "Top Performer" deliberately bumped into me, knocking me down.

He laughed at me like everyone did.

"You're an embarrassment to all of us!

Making players heart-shaped pancakes for breakfast? Pfft! You spineless worm!"

I crouched on the floor with a bitter smile.

It wasn't spinelessness!

It was pure and mysterious family hierarchy!

...

Flashbackto when I first became a horror game boss, I entered my assigned dungeon excitedly.

With a golden flash, there she was in the grand hall: a middle-aged woman holding a cleaver.

I was poised upside-down from the rafters, trying to scare her.

Our eyes met.

My grin froze.

"Oh my Mom?!

Ah!!!

Her voice was much louder than mine, not because of fear but excitement.

My mom yanked me down and started dragging me upstairs by my collar.

"Are there more surprises? I love this kind of thing!"

I wiped the fake scars off my face and sighed in relief.

Good news, she didn't recognize me.

Bad news. I didn't dare to scare my own mother!

I was not THAT crazy!

After dragging me all over the castle without finding any other surprises, she finally got tired and let me go.

Hey girl, what kind of place is this? Why are you the only one...here?

I smiled bitterly.

Back then, I'd pleaded with the Big Boss forever, and finally got my own solo dungeon.

What a privilege!

Now? I'd gladly give that privilege to someone else.

But the dungeon had already started.

The exit would only open in seven days, until the key appeared and the player found it,

which meant I was stuck for a week with my mom, who was already making herself at home.

I stepped forward with a slight bow.

"Ma'am, you are so lucky! This is a hidden eventa seven-day castle retreat!

You can go anywhere and do anything you like. Your enjoyment is our top priority!"

I gave her the grand tour, showing off the castle's hidden amenities: a gym, a home theater, even a swimming pool...

All of which used to be my private spaces!

I sprang up and flashed a perfectly practiced smile.

Force of habitas a kid, I was scolded by her when I had bad manners.

I bowed slightly. "How may I assist you today, madam?"

My momMs. Jeanpicked up her cleaver again.

"Is that all? How dull! Well, I suppose I'll make dinner. Where's the kitchen?"

Cold sweat beaded on my forehead, then I reluctantly led the way.

Not for any supernatural reason.

But for my mom was a notorious kitchen disaster.

Ms. Jean might sound delicate, and to outsiders, she looks like the picture of a gentle, refined lady.

But in fact? She's a horror movie fanatic.

She was seriously a good fighter.

As for her lifelong biggest regret? She had never conquered the culinary frontier.

So she keeps trying and blessing me with her "nourishing love soups."

Though... they're awful.

I just never imagined death couldn't even let me escape from them.

After showing her the kitchen, I shut the door and bolted.

Hide under the bed?

Nope. That's where I hid the spike trap.

In a room?

Nope. Mom could kick that flimsy wooden door down in one go.

The bathroom?

Nope. Too smelly. I couldn't stay there for long.

I paced the grand hall anxiously.

Eventually, she emerged happily, with large pot in her hands.

"Dear, come have some soup! I made a lot!"

I shook my head, backing away slowly. "Oh, no thank you!"

Ms. Jean didn't push. She just set two bowls and chopsticks on the table.

"My soup is delicious. My daughter used to drink bowl after bowl. It's just... been so long since anyone shared a meal with me..."

My eyes unexpectedly stung.

I don't remember how I died, but it was heartbreaking picturing her life without me!

I finally sat down.

The first sip made my tears retreat instantly.

She must have knocked over the salt shaker... again.

I choked down two bowls without flinching, then chugged straight from the water bucket.

Mom looked concerned. "Slow down! My daughter used to do that too, and then... well, she passed far too young!"

I spat out my water, and my heart stung.

At least being dead meant I couldn't die again.

For the next week, I played the dutiful servant, touring the castle with Mom.

Midway, she waved her cleaver, eager to teach me cooking.

I sheepishly admitted I already knew how.

Yeah, years of her "tutoring" forced me to learn.

Then she wanted to teach me how to fight, and showed me her tricks.

I tried to refuse.

Now I could detach my legs and arms anytime I wanted, so I didn't have to learn that.

But she insisted.

FOR 5 DAYS!!!

I couldn't even sleep in as a horror boss!

On the final day, I was extremely happy.

"Madam, your seven days are nearly up! Your vacation is ending. Please, remember to leave a glowing review for this dungeon!"

Good reviews meant more customers.

It meant I might hit my monthly quota!

I couldn't stop grinning.

Mom seemed happy too. Seems like she wanted to stay longer.

"You remind me so much of my daughter. She was just as lovely as you"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "You remind me of my mom too..."

I whispered it too softly.

I didn't know if she heard me.

...

After seeing off my first player, I dug out my hidden stash.

Time to redecorate the castle.

The previous look was too normal. It needed more gothic blood-spatter chic!

I hid the kitchen ingredients, in case other players bad at cooking found them.

I even maxed out my credit on installing more traps.

They could make the next player wet their pants!

Hiding in a corner, I cackled victoriously.

Then the next player showed up.

I instantly ripped off my arm and flung it towards her. But the expected scream never came.

I peeked out.

Who's that familiar old lady?

GRANDMA!!!!

The worst part is that when I flung my arm out, it hit her glasses and they shattered on the ground.

Now she was just standing there downstairs, completely lost.

"Hello? Is anyone there? Could someone help me find my glasses?"

I cleared my throat and plowed ahead, ignoring her question.

"Welcome to the Class-C dungeon, 'The Haunted Castle.' Your objective is to survive for seven days and find the key"

Before I could finish, Grandma groped the air and grabbed my arm.

"Young lady, have you seen my glasses?"

I guiltily kicked the shattered pieces under a rug with my foot.

No way could I give them backwhat if I scared the life out of her?

"No, I haven't seen them anywhere."

Grandma sighed. "What a shame. My granddaughter gave these to me. How could I lose them?"

But she bounced back to spirits surprisingly fast.

"Young lady, are you the only one in this place?"

No, I wanted to say, you're the only one here.

She didn't even wait for my answer.

"Would you mind showing me to my room?"

I agreed.

To anyone watching, I was the picture of charm. But my feet were working double time.

I cursed my past self for setting too many traps in this hallway.

With every few steps, I had to discreetly kick them out of the way.

At the bedroom door, I moved quickly, snatching the disembodied head from its hook and tossing it into a corner.

Then I ushered Grandma inside.

I barely had a moment to breathe a sigh of relief when I saw her sit down heavily on the beddirectly activating the tentacle mechanism.

I saw the ugly black tentacles began slithering from the headboard, silently reaching for her neck and limbs.

I floated closer and saw Grandma rubbing her neck, then grabbing the flailing tentacle and yanking it.

Same with the ones on her wrists and ankles.

"What happened? I have never seen such thick yarns"

She pondered for a moment, pulled knitting needles from her pocket, and threaded the black "yarn" onto them.

She knitted expertly, even her poor sight didn't slow her down a bit.

I stood there, dumbfounded.

Seriously? This overpriced junk is useless!

One-star review!

I silently floated away.

And so the week passed.

Besides preparing Grandma's three meals plus nutritious soup.

I had to relocate all the castle's tentacle traps to her bedside.

So she'd have "yarn."

After seven days, Grandma left happily.

Before she left, she handed me a black sweater.

I tried it on. Perfect fit!

I pressed my lips together and handed her the glasses I'd repaired.

She put them on, looked at me, and beamed.

"You're such a pretty young thing! Thank you for your hospitality. Goodbye!"

I smiled bitterly and touched my scarred face.

Grandma always was sweet. My face was a mess of ugly scarsC hideous enough that I never worried Mom or Grandma would recognize me.

...

After that, I encountered Dad and Grandpa in the dungeon too.

Obviously, I couldn't act up in front of them.

So I got exactly zero Horror Points.

Instead, other bosses discovered I was serving players gourmet breakfasts, lunches, and dinners...

Every exiting player wore a happy smile.

I...

I just prayed for fewer familiar faces next month.

After the last summit, my colleagues started closing their own dungeons.

They came to mine to see how ridiculous it was.

They even helped "upgrade" my solo dungeon into a multi-player one.

Three players at a time!

Hearing the news, I just raised an eyebrow.

Fine. Let them all join my dungeons.

I assigned them roles, demanding they unleash their most horrifying forms to boost my dungeon's rep.

Eager to see me fail, they agreed.

Finally, dungeon-opening day came.

Once again, I hung upside-down from the ceiling, getting ready to scare them.

I bet this time, it wouldn't be family!

...

I was wrong. So terribly wrong.

With a golden flash, players appeared.

I didn't care who they are, just launched into my "disassembly-reassembly" routine with my eyes closed.

Leg off, leg on. Arm off, arm on.

Finally, head off.

A terrifying spectacle, amplified by my colleagues' perfectly timed splashes of red liquid.

Maximum horror achieved!

But the expected screams didn't come.

Then a familiar, grating voice rang out.