The Five Hundred Portraits

My wife, Tatiana Shaw, claimed to suffer from severe trauma-induced male avoidance. For five years of marriage, we slept in separate rooms.

But at the Golden Palette Awards, she unveiled five hundred and twenty paintings of her and her first love in intimate poses.

In the paintings, they were nearly naked, their hands the only things covering their most private parts.

The first painting was dated three years ago, on Valentine's Day.

Watching them stand before the press with their fingers intertwined, I quietly returned the birthday gift I had bought for her.

Then, I sent a message to my mentor overseas.

"Marcus, I accept your offer. I'll join you as soon as I settle things here."

1.

The moment the message sent, I heard a reporter ask a question.

"Ms. Shaw, what would you like to say about this exhibition?"

Tatiana looked at the man beside her, Justin Shore, with eyes full of gratitude.

"I'm sure everyone noticed the date on the first painting was three years ago, on Valentine's Day."

"I'm so thankful to Mr. Shore. He put countless hours and energy into making this exhibition happen. I hope everyone focuses on the art itself."

As she spoke, her gaze pierced through the crowd and landed on me.

I met her eyes calmly for three seconds before shifting my gaze to their locked hands.

Tatiana supposedly had a traumatic reaction to men because she was assaulted by a neighbor in middle school.

Whenever a man got close to her, she would break into a cold sweat and tremble uncontrollably.

Even as her husband, I had to stop exactly fifteen centimeters away from her.

Physical intimacy was completely out of the question.

On the day we got our marriage license, Tatiana cried and apologized. She said she couldn't give me a normal married life and begged me not to resent her.

Back then, I thought I was special. I thought she was willing to break her psychological barriers just to be with me.

Now, I was finally waking up from that beautiful dream.

Before the exhibition started, Tatiana told me she had a surprise for me.

I had hoped for a portrait of me. But when I walked in, all I saw were paintings of a couple in total intimacy.

Almost every piece featured naked bodies, their faces filled with raw emotion or sweet passion.

Over three years, she had made five hundred and twenty of them.

People were whispering about how sexual the tension was in every frame. It was enough to make anyone blush.

The same Tatiana who never let me near her was now holding Justin's hand, smiling at him. Everyone there thought they were a match made in heaven.

As the event wrapped up, Tatiana tearfully confessed her feelings to her first love in front of everyone. She thanked him for helping her heal her deep-seated wounds.

Her words made the last five years of my life look like a total joke.

After we married, I gave up my dreams to take care of her.

I found a boring nine-to-five job near our house just so I could handle her meals and daily needs.

Tatiana was a clean freak and couldn't stand a speck of dust.

I spent every evening deep-cleaning the house just to make her comfortable.

Yet, I never even got to eat at the same table as her, let alone share a bed.

The five years of monotony hadn't exhausted me, but hearing her words today made me realize I was done.

2.

Just as I left the gallery, my mentor called me.

He was incredibly excited, asking if my message was for real.

"I'm serious," I told him.

"If I flake out this time, you can have my head on a silver platter."

Marcus had started a professional esports team three years ago.

He had invited me to be their lead data analyst back then.

It had always been my dream.

But for Tatiana, I had rejected him without a second thought.

I genuinely believed she couldn't survive without me.

I thought I was the only man she could tolerate in her world.

I even stopped hanging out with friends, worried that if I wasn't home, she'd have a panic attack she couldn't handle.

Now I realized I was only ever moving myself with my sacrifices.

Eventually, after Marcus kept asking, I agreed to do remote data analysis for them after major tournaments.

"We've always kept a spot for you. Analysts with your talent are rare," Marcus said. "You're welcome anytime."

He paused, then asked tentatively, "You rejected me because of Tatiana. So why now?"

I stayed silent for a few seconds before being honest. "I'm divorcing her."

Marcus didn't pry. After we hung up, he texted me.

"Flowers bloom for the sun. People should always look forward."

I replied with an emoji and went to take a shower.

When I stepped out, drying my hair, Justin was helping a drunken Tatiana through the door.

He had a smug, triumphant grin on his face when he saw me.

"Sorry, Tati was so happy she overdid it. I thought I should bring her home."

Tatiana looked at me with blurry eyes and said naturally, "Kaelen, stay away from me."

That was the phrase I heard most from her every day.

If I tried to get even an inch closer, she would frown and snap at me.

I looked at Justin's hand wrapped around her waist and laughed at myself.

"She sleeps in that room. Take her there yourself."

Justin's eyes glowed with arrogance, but his voice stayed fake-polite.

"Tati and I have known each other a long time. That's why she doesn't reject me. Don't take it personally."

I didn't answer. I just went into the guest room and shut the door.

In five years, we hadn't shared a bed once. No hand-holding, no hugging. Nothing.

I once joked that I had married a wife but was living like a monk.

Tatiana had frowned, her voice cold with annoyance.

"If you can't handle it, we can get a divorce."

Back then, I thought I had triggered her trauma and apologized profusely.

Now I understood that she probably meant it.

I stared at the moonlight outside, unable to sleep.

Suddenly, an email notification popped up.

Marcus had sent me videos of the new recruits. He added, "It's time for you to shine."

I opened my laptop and started analyzing the footage frame by frame.

By the time I lay back down, three hours had passed.

My brain was too tired to think about her anymore, and I fell into a deep sleep.

3.

The next morning, I opened my door to find Tatiana and Justin eating breakfast together.

Justin was wearing the designer shirt Tatiana had bought for me last year.

I had kept it tucked away like a treasure.

Seeing my eyes on the shirt, Tatiana explained casually, "Justin didn't have a change of clothes. I found that for him."

I didn't react. I just gave a lazy nod and went to brew some coffee.

"Kaelen, come join us," Justin said in a condescending tone.

I glanced at Tatiana. She didn't say a word.

Five years of marriage, and I needed another man's permission to sit at my own table with my wife.

What a pathetic joke.

I looked down at my coffee and spoke quietly.

"No thanks. I prefer eating alone."

Justin acted surprised. "Have you and Tati been eating separately this whole time?"

Tatiana put down her fork. "Kaelen, just sit down. My symptoms aren't that severe anymore. You don't have to be so walking on eggshells."

I shook my head. "I'm good. I mind it."

Tatiana's eyes widened. She clearly didn't expect a rejection.

She thought I'd be groveling with gratitude the moment she offered me a crumb of intimacy.

Her expression soon shifted back to normal.

"Are you upset about yesterday? That was just a story Justin and I agreed on to help the exhibition's PR. You didn't actually think I was cured, did you?"

"You know I've known Justin forever. That's why he can be close. If you stay with me longer, we can get there too."

That was the carrot she had dangled in front of me for years.

She always told me that if I just waited, she would eventually accept me.

Before I saw those paintings, I was stupid enough to believe her.

I used to tell her I could wait forever.

But today, I didn't say anything. I just put on my shoes and went to work.

When I got to the office, I handed in my resignation.

My boss was shocked. "Does Tatiana know about this?"

This company belonged to Tatiana's uncle. Her family always treated me like a leech who lived off her.

They gave me all the dirty work, and I took it for her sake.

I smiled. "I don't need anyone's permission to quit. I never signed a formal contract here anyway. This is just a courtesy."

I walked out and didn't look back.

The news reached Tatiana fast. She called me during work hours for the first time ever.

"Kaelen, what are you doing? Where are you going to find a job this good?"

"I already found something else," I said coldly.

"What else can you do besides cooking and cleaning? Stop throwing a tantrum."

Before I could answer, I heard Justin's voice on her end.

"Tati, how do I wear this?"

"Forget about quitting," she snapped into the phone. "I'll come home and have dinner with you tonight."

She hung up immediately.

That night, I reheated the food five times. Tatiana never showed up.

I checked social media and saw Justin had posted a selfie of them pressed together.

The caption read: "You said I'll always be your most special person."

I put my phone down and dumped the cold food into the trash.

4.

The next day, the sound of breaking glass woke me up.

I walked out to see Tatiana in the kitchen, looking like a mess.

Because of her OCD, she never stepped foot in the kitchen.

She was wearing a full hazmat suit and double gloves, trying to fry an egg.

I didn't feel touched. I just thought she looked ridiculous.

Seeing me, she put a mangled egg on the table.

"This is my first time cooking. Try it."

I looked at her and noticed several red marksDhickeysDon her neck.

When I didn't move, she started to get annoyed.

"What are you standing there for? Eat!"

"I know I stood you up yesterday. The studio had an emergency. This is my apology."

"Were you really at the studio yesterday?" I asked.

A flash of guilt crossed her face, followed by an explosion of anger.

"What is that supposed to mean? Where else would I be?"

"You've been acting weird since the exhibition! You promised to support my art when we got married. I told you, everything I do is for the sake of art."

Her reaction told me everything.

Tatiana always yelled when she was lying to cover her tracks.

I didn't say a word. She threw her gloves on the floor. "I have a session with my therapist. Think about your attitude."

She slammed the door and left.

A dark thought crossed my mind.

I quickly got dressed and followed her.

As I left the complex, I saw her get into Justin's car.

I followed them all the way to her private art studio.

When I got to the door, it was slightly ajar.

Moans and soft giggles were coming from inside.

"Why are you always so impatient? Wasn't yesterday enough?"

Through the gap, I saw Justin pinning Tatiana down.

Her clothes were half-off.

Justin was burying his face in her neck, making her laugh.

I kicked the door open with a loud bang.

Tatiana screamed and pushed Justin away.

"Kaelen! What what are you doing here?"

She scrambled to fix her clothes, her face turning ghostly white.

"I'm just checking in on your therapy session!"

I lunged forward and landed a heavy punch right on Justin's face.

"Babe, it's a misunderstanding! This is this is exposure therapy! I'm treating my trauma!"

Hearing her pathetic lie, I slapped her hard across the face.

She tried to grab me, crying that it was all a mistake.

I shoved her away with pure disgust.

"Tatiana, let's get a divorce. Looking at you makes me want to vomit."

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