I don't want that biased love

When my parents committed me to the mental hospital, Olivia Knowles was taking a bow for her violin performance. My fianc and my own little brother were in the audience, applauding her wildly. It should have been my moment of glory. That violin should have been my twelfth birthday present. Id spent my whole life competing with Olivia. Whether I was right or wrong, my parents always sided with her, especially after shed shed a few strategic tears. But I was their real daughter! It wasnt until I was dying that I finally understood. If I ever got another chance, I wouldn't waste my time fighting for love that was already biased against me.

...

I opened my eyes again, reborn into my eleven-year-old self. It was the day Olivia wanted to change her last name to Knowles, trying to fully integrate into our family. Olivia was my uncle's daughter. He and his wife had died in a car accident, leaving Olivia, a frail child, all alone. My dad, being my uncle's brother, couldn't bear to see her in foster care, so he and Mom took her in.

Olivia snuggled into Mom's arms, her voice full of longing. "Mom, could I have a name like Lizzies? They never gave me a proper name before, and I want to be a real Knowles, too."

Mom stroked her hair affectionately. "Of course, sweetie. Since your brothers middle name is Nathan, how about we call you Olivia?"

I stood on the staircase, watching the heartwarming scene unfold below, my heart cold. Dad noticed me. He frowned, a look of suspicion on his face, as if he already assumed I was about to cause trouble for Olivia. "Lizzie, don't be difficult. Olivia is your sister now."

"She's not well, so you need to be patient with her. Don't bully her, do you hear me?"

Hearing the same words as in my past life made my stomach sink. Olivia was frail, so I, as the older sister, had to give in to her. I heard those words countless times in my previous life. Ever since Olivia arrived, the love and attention that had once been solely mine were largely diverted to her. Just because she was an orphan and sickly, I was expected to constantly yield to her. Eventually, even the scraps of affection that remained were given to Olivia.

But I was only two months older than her! And she was my cousin, not my sister. Why did my parents treat her like their own daughter? Just because she knew how to cry? I still remembered the look of disgust on Mom's face the last time I saw her. "Lizzie Knowles, I've spoiled you rotten. You couldnt even leave poor Olivia alone." But she seemed to have forgotten that she hadn't truly shown me any affection since Olivia arrived. I was her own flesh and blood!

I looked down at Mom trying to appease me. "Lizzie, even with Olivia here, Mommy still loves you the most."

A flicker of something dark, too mature for her age, flashed in Olivia's eyes. If I hadn't lived this life twice, I might have missed it. But in the next instant, she batted her eyelashes and, in front of my parents, gave me a small,, "Lizzie?"

I ignored her and turned to go upstairs. Mom called after me, but Dad cut her off. "Leave her. She's been spoiled rotten. If she were half as well-behaved as Olivia, I'd be grateful."

I paused, my hand tightening on the banister, then continued to my room, outwardly unaffected. Even though from the moment I was reborn, I decided to let go of their love, my heart still stung from my father's words.

I stayed in my room except for meals and bathroom breaks. I didn't want to see Olivia's fake sweetness, and I wanted to focus on my studies so I could get into a good college. Once I was in college, I could finally escape the Knowles family and their suffocating favoritism towards Olivia.

I was studying when a knock came at my door, followed by Olivia's timid voice. "Lizzie, Mom cut some watermelon. I brought you a couple of slices."

I didn't bother responding, keeping my eyes on my book. After a while, Olivia's voice, now laced with tears, sounded from outside again. "Mom, Lizzie doesn't like me. I just wanted to get along with her, but she ignores me... Is it because she thinks I stole you and Dad?"

"Maybe I should go back to the group home. Then Lizzie would like me."

Mom comforted her. "Don't be silly. Lizzie is just spoiled. I'll tell her to play with you later."

My little brother, Nathan, chimed in, "I like Olivia! Not Lizzie. Lizzie's mean!"

I flung open the door. "Okay, I get it, your bond is unbreakable. But could you please take your little drama somewhere else? It's distracting."

Olivia took a step closer, pretending to want to approach me but holding back. "Lizzie, would you play with me if I went back to the group home? I...I'll pack my things right now."

Nathan immediately spread his arms protectively in front of Olivia, glaring at me. "Lizzie's a bad person! I like Olivia! No Lizzie! Lizzie go away!"

Mom didn't scold Nathan. Instead, she looked at me. "Lizzie, you're being incredibly childish! You should learn from Olivia. She's younger than you and so much more mature."

My grip on the doorknob tightened. "So mature and well-behaved. Why don't you just make her your daughter then? Oh wait, you already have."

Dad came up the stairs, yelling at me without even trying to understand the situation. "Lizzie Knowles, you have no manners! Olivia is a part of this family now. As her older sister, you should be taking care of her, not treating her like this! Even your brother is more mature than you!"

"Now apologize to Olivia, right this instant!"

I looked at my parents, Nathan, and Olivia standing opposite me, as if they were the real family, and I was the outsider. How absurd. My own parents wouldn't defend me, instead berating me for a single sentence, all because Olivia knew how to manipulate them. Even my little brother, whom Id always adored, was on her side.

Catching the slight upturn of Olivia's lips, I slammed the door shut, ignoring Dad's continued pounding and demands for an apology. I leaned against the door, trying to calm down, still vaguely hearing them comforting Olivia.

There was no difference between my past life and this one. Even if I didn't antagonize Olivia, they would still find a way to blame me. All it took were a few tears, and her wrongs became mine. How pathetic.

My birthday arrived quickly. Dad presented me with my gift: the violin I'd always wanted. It was a bit expensive for our family, so my parents had always hesitated to buy it. Mom smiled encouragingly as she gestured for me to open it. I took out the violin, expressionless, not missing the flash of envy in Olivia's eyes.

Dad took the opportunity to give me a fatherly lecture. "Lizzie, we haven't forgotten about you. We still love you."

Mom patted my hair affectionately. "Yes, Lizzie, see? We even bought you the violin you wanted. Its just that Olivia isn't well, so we need to give her a little extra attention. You should be more understanding and take care of Olivia, be a good example for Nathan, okay?"

Before I could respond, Olivia gasped, drawing everyone's attention. Realizing all eyes were on her, she covered her mouth apologetically, her eyes filled with manufactured longing. "Mom and Dad are so good to Lizzie. I've never even seen a real violin before. I've only seen them on TV... I'm so envious. No one ever buys me anything like that."

"They always say it's a waste of money for girls to learn these things. Im so jealous of Lizzie."

Olivia's mournful act triggered my parents' sympathy. Just like in my past life, Mom took the violin from me and handed it straight to Olivia. Dad said the exact same words as before. "Since Olivia feels that way, Lizzie, be generous and let her have the violin."

Olivia clutched the violin, her voice soft. "Really, Lizzie? Is it okay?" Before I could agree, Mom made the decision for me. "Of course, it's okay. Olivia is family, too."

In my past life, this was how Olivia took my violin, and my parents told me to let her have it, promising to get me a better one later. I refused to give in and fought with Olivia, only to be scolded and have my allowance cut off. Why should she get my birthday present just because she put on a pitiful act? Didnt I want it, too?

I looked up and asked the question Id always wanted to ask in my previous life. "Why do you have to give her my birthday present? Can't you just buy her another one?"

They didnt see the injustice of it. Instead, they reprimanded me. "Money doesn't grow on trees, Lizzie! This violin was already expensive! We can't afford another one. Cant you share with Olivia?"

"You've become so selfish! Olivia has already been through so much; you should be more caring towards her."

I stared at them for a few seconds and slowly nodded. "I understand."

I turned and went upstairs, ignoring the scolding behind me. "Look at her attitude! Sulking like a child."

"She has no idea how much things cost!"

At the top of the stairs, I saw Nathan handing Olivia a gift. "Happy birthday, Olivia!"

But today was my birthday.

Two months later, on Olivia's birthday, the parents who claimed they couldn't afford another violin rented out a hotel ballroom and ordered a five-tier cake just because Olivia wanted to celebrate with her entire class. As for me, just like in my previous life, I was ordered to stay home. Their excuse? They were afraid I would cause a scene and embarrass Olivia in front of her friends.

As they left, Olivia, dressed in a princess gown and wearing a tiara, was surrounded by my parents and Nathan, laughing and chatting on their way to the hotel. Their real daughter, meanwhile, didn't even get a slice of cake. I was left alone at home with leftover food, all because they were afraid I would "ruin" Olivia's special day.

I didnt complain or throw a tantrum. I sat quietly in my room, studying, planning my escape from this family.

The midterm exam results came out, and I got first place. The school also scheduled parent-teacher conferences. As soon as I got home, I heard Olivia sobbing. "Mom, I'm so stupid... Lizzie got first in the whole grade, and II just feel so awful. Do you think I'm dumb? Do you not love me anymore?"

Nathan patted her back awkwardly. "I love Olivia, not Lizzie."

Dad also comforted her. "Don't be upset, Olivia. Lizzie just got lucky. She never studies; who knows how she got that grade. Don't you try to be like her."

Mom agreed. "Yes, Olivia, you're perfect just the way you are. Dont overwork yourself with studying. Your health is more important."

They thought they were being fair, but they were tearing me down in front of Olivia just to make her feel better. If they werent my parents, I would almost admire their dedication to enabling her.

I stood at the doorway, a cynical smile playing on my lips. Olivia wiped her tears and asked, her voice choked with emotion, "So you won't stop loving me? You won't send me back to the group home? I'm so scared, I don't want to leave you and Dad."

Mom hugged her tightly. "Of course not, sweetie. You'll always be a Knowles."

"Besides, grades aren't everything. You don't even have to study if you don't want to."

"I'll take care of Lizzie!" Nathan's childish words made them laugh.

Olivia looked up expectantly. "So, Mom and Dad, will you go to my parent-teacher conference?"

"Of course, we'll both go." Dad reassured her.

Olivia finally seemed to notice me, giving me a small, "Lizzie." The atmosphere in the living room instantly chilled. I pretended not to hear and walked straight in. "The school is having parent-teacher conferences. Who's going?"

Dad suddenly exploded. "You're getting more and more disrespectful! You don't even call us Mom and Dad anymore!"

I couldn't understand his anger. Mom stopped him and said apologetically, "Lizzie, your dad and I are going to Olivia's conference. As for yours"

I cut her off bluntly. "Does her conference require both of you?"

"Don't be so difficult, Lizzie! Olivia isn't well, she needs someone to look after her. You're always giving her the cold shoulder; do you have to compete over this, too?"

Even though I knew the outcome would be the same as my past life, I still held onto a sliver of hope. It was nothing more than self-inflicted humiliation. I turned and went back to my room, ignoring the accusations that followed. My heart grew colder and colder.

My thirteenth birthday arrived. When I got home from school, the house was empty and silent. Id just picked up my phone from my room when Mom called. Her side of the line was noisy, filled with childrens voices. "Lizzie, honey, with both you and Olivia, things are a little tight this year. Olivia's health isn't good, and she has a lot of doctors appointments, so were not getting you a birthday present this year."

"I sent you some money on Venmo. Get yourself some dinner, okay?"

"We won't be home tonight, so don't wait up."

I heard Olivia call out "Mommy!" in the background. Mom hung up before I could say anything. I checked my phone and saw the Venmo notification. It was $50. I scoffed. It wasnt worth getting upset over, and at least I wasnt really thirteen. Spending the night alone wouldn't be so scary.

But as I made myself some ramen and pulled out my phone to study, I saw Olivia's Instagram post. Id forgotten about this. My last birthday played out exactly the same way. Olivia had been envious of a classmate who went to Disneyland, so my parents, without a second thought, bought tickets and took her. Later, Mom remembered it was my birthday and sent me the $50. I'd assumed they were working late and hadn't thought much of it. Id waited for them to come home, and when I saw how happy they were, Id thrown a fit. Olivia had cried, and Dad had forced me to apologize to her.

Snapping out of the memory, I clicked on Olivias post. She was wearing a Snow White dress, grinning at the camera with a peace sign. There were pictures of themDmy familyDposing in front of the Disneyland entrance. Yes, them. Not me. They all looked incredibly happy. There were even pictures of them having a fancy meal inside the park.

Theyd said they couldn't afford a birthday present for me because of Olivia's medical expenses, yet they took her to Disneyland on my birthday. Two lifetimes, the same story. It made me sick to my stomach.

Time flew by, and I got accepted into a prestigious high school, finally free from Olivia's shadow. She didn't make the cut. I applied for on-campus housing and avoided going home during holidays, taking on odd jobs to earn my own spending money. But summer break arrived, and I had no excuse to stay away, so I packed my bags.

It seemed that in the six months I'd been gone, their little family of four had grown even closer. Closer than I, their own daughter, had ever been. When I arrived, the house was empty. I didnt care. I dragged my suitcase upstairs. As I reached the second floor, I heard the melodious sound of a piano and my parents' voices, filled with praise.

I almost kept walking, but as I approached my room, I realized the sounds were coming from inside. I gripped the doorknob and threw open the door. The four of them turned to look at me, startled.

I looked around. My belongings were gone. Even my bed was missing. In the center of the room sat a grand piano, the kind I'd only ever seen on TV. It was worth a fortune, far more than the violin I'd wanted for my twelfth birthday. Olivia, in a white dress, sat at the piano, her hands still resting on the keys. My room had been transformed into Olivia's piano room.

This hadn't happened in my past life. Maybe my non-confrontational approach this time around had only emboldened them. I gripped the doorknob, fury simmering beneath my calm exterior. "Where am I supposed to sleep?"

Before my parents could recover, Nathan spoke, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Lizzie, you've been gone for six months. We thought you were living somewhere else now.

Dont blame Mom and Dad. You never spend any time with us, youre always gone. Olivias piano is kind of big, it wouldnt fit in the guest room, so they put it in your room.

Before I could respond, Olivia started to cry. "Lizzie, it's all my fault. I just really wanted to play the piano."

"Please dont fight because of me. Families are supposed to get along. I know Lizzie missed you all after being gone so long, but if she really minds, I can leave."

"I guess Im old enough to be on my own now." She coughed dramatically, her body swaying as if about to faint.

Nathan rushed to her side, yelling at me. "Lizzie Knowles, do you have to make everyone miserable?! You just got here and youre already picking on Olivia! Youre such a jinx!"

"Nobodys happy when you're around. Olivias always saying nice things about you, and this is how you repay her? The second you walk in the door you want her to leave. Youre unbelievable!