Don't Save Him in the Next Life

Willa York was the one who dragged Xander Holt back from the brink of death after he took three bullets on the mission.

My father used my medical injury report to blackmail him into marriage. He was forced to make me his wife.

We were married for ten years, yet he never touched me once.

I used to think he was just naturally cold and distant.

It wasn't until his first love was on her deathbed that she told me the truth. He had been there that day, too, and never intended to abandon her.

By a twist of fate, he also found out about my twelve-year secret crush on him.

He hated me for using my father's influence to tear them apart.

After the divorce, he used every resource to crush my father. He even forged evidence to frame him for treason.

My father jumped to his death from a rooftop. I was thrown into a psychiatric ward.

Before I died, he looked at me with pure disgust.

"You and your father are paying the price for your pathetic, sickening love," he spat.

"Don't bother saving me in the next life. You make my skin crawl."

When I opened my eyes again, I was back to the moment I dragged him from the pile of bodies. He was still unconscious.

Instead of staying, I walked away. I found his first love pacing anxiously outside the hospital.

"Go inside," I told her. "He's waiting for you."

1.

From outside the hospital room, I could clearly hear Xander's voice. He was weeping with joy.

I leaned against the cold, sterile wall. My hand pressed against my ribs, where blood was soaking through the bandages.

The bleeding would eventually stop. The ache in my heart, however, wouldn't fade so easily.

My dad stormed down the hallway, looking at me with a mix of anger and heartbreak.

"You broke three ribs and shattered your left arm saving that man! Why aren't you in there? Why did you let that other woman take your place?"

"Xander Holt is a damn fool. He just woke up and he's already crawling out of bed to hold her. What does she have that you don't?"

I glanced through the small window of the room.

Xander's face was still deathly pale. He had likely just regained consciousness.

The moment he saw Hadley Vance, he ripped the IV out of his arm. He ignored the pain just to pull her into a desperate embrace.

He was a man of steel and pride. He hadn't shed a single tear when he was shot three times.

Yet here he was, sobbing into Hadley's shoulder.

In my past life, when he woke up and saw me by his bed, his face had turned to stone.

"I hate being indebted to people," he had said coldly. "You shouldn't have saved me."

Now that Hadley was the one by his side, he finally had what he wanted.

I let out a bitter laugh and tucked my arm into my father's.

"Forget it, Dad. Let the star-crossed lovers have their moment. Let's go find a doctor for me."

My father looked at my pale face, his heart breaking as he squeezed my hand.

"Honey, you've loved him for twelve years. This was your only chance to make him yours."

I shook my head, forcing myself to take one step after another.

"Stop it, Dad. Don't say another word."

"I'm warning you right nowDdrop whatever plan you have in your head. If you use my injuries to force him into a marriage, we're both finished."

"But I can't stand seeing you like this..."

I gripped his hand tighter and forced a weak smile.

"Dad, I just want to stay with you. I want to take care of you in your old age."

After the surgery, the doctor told me my injuries were severe. I needed two months of bed rest.

The daily physical therapy made me scream in pain.

One afternoon, while I was struggling with my crutches, Xander showed up with Hadley.

"Willa, how are you feeling? Is the recovery going okay?"

Hadley reached out to steady me, then turned to scold Xander.

"Why are you just standing there like a statue? Willa got hurt because of you!"

Xander gave me a brief, distant look.

"I don't make physical contact with women who aren't you," he said coldly.

He then turned his gaze back to me, his eyes full of suspicion.

"Mr. York hired a nurse for you. Why aren't they here?"

I knew that look.

Xander thought I was faking my struggle. He thought I sent the nurse away to look pathetic so he would pity me.

My grip tightened on my crutches. A sharp, stinging sadness bloomed in my chest.

Was I really that manipulative in his eyes?

"The doctor said I need to push myself," I explained quietly. "I can't rely on people forever. The nurse only comes at night."

Xander's expression didn't soften.

Hadley sighed and rolled her eyes at him. She placed a luxury gift box on my bedside table.

"Willa, thank you so much for bringing Xander back. We broke up years ago, and even though I missed him, I was too scared to reach out."

"If you hadn't told me to go in that day, we probably never would have found our way back to each other."

"Xander already proposed to me in the hospital room. Get well soon, okay? Once you're out, we want to take our matchmaker out for a huge dinner!"

Hadley winked at me and flashed the ring on her right hand.

It was a sapphire engagement ring, exquisitely crafted.

In my past life, this had been my wedding ring.

Xander had tossed it on the coffee table the day we signed the papers. It never fit me right, but I wore it for a decade anyway.

On Hadley's finger, it looked like it was made for her.

Because it was.

My eyes burned, but I forced a smile.

"Of course. I'll be there."

2.

During my two months in the hospital, Hadley visited often.

She was a chatterbox who couldn't stop talking once she started.

Through her stories, I learned a side of Xander I never knew. He would drive through rainstorms to pick her up from work. He spent hours doing crafts or painting with her. He even made wishes on shooting stars like a teenager.

Hadley beamed every time she mentioned him.

"You have no idea how dorky he is. Some guy on the team asked if I was single, and Xander immediately pulled me close and introduced me as his fiance."

"He even posted three times on social media about us. It's so childish!"

My fingers twitched.

"He... he went public with you?"

"Yeah! Look, his photography skills are total trash. He picked the worst photos of me."

Hadley opened her Instagram. There they wereDthree posts from last night.

"You're all I need for the rest of my life," one caption read.

"Finally back with the woman I've loved for ten years," read another.

The photos were a montage of them from high school to now.

Childhood sweethearts. They looked perfect together.

In my past life, Xander kept our marriage a secret. His superiors even tried to set him up on blind dates because they didn't know he was taken.

I had been so jealous once that I snuck onto his phone and posted a photo of us.

He had come home that day with a face like thunder. He packed his bags, moved to the guest room, and left me with one sentence.

"We're adults, Willa. Stop being so pathetic and childish."

And yet, here he was, being 'childish' all on his own.

The difference between being loved and being tolerated was staggering.

I gave his post a 'like.' It took a long time for the ache in my chest to subside before I called my father.

"Dad, I want to submit a transfer to the administrative department. Give my spot as Xander's field partner to Hadley."

I had stolen that position using my father's power in the first life.

It was time to give it back.

By the time I was discharged, the transfer was approved.

On the day I went to the precinct to pack my things, several teammates came to say goodbye. Some were even tearing up.

"Willa, are you leaving because of Hadley? You almost died for Xander. You two were supposed to be the power couple..."

I held my box of belongings and kept my voice steady.

"No. I'm leaving because I need time to heal. It has nothing to do with them."

"Xander and Hadley are great together. There's nothing between him and me, so stop gossiping."

They hugged me and told me how much they'd miss me.

When I turned around, I realized Xander was standing right behind me. His dark eyes were fixed on me.

I quickly looked away and tried to walk past him.

Xander stepped forward and yanked open the passenger door of his SUV.

"Get in. I'll give you a ride."

"No thanks. I'll just call an Uber."

Xander's gaze darkened. He looked like he was afraid I'd get the wrong idea.

"Hadley asked me to do this. She's worried about you."

"I'm just completing a task."

Since it was for Hadley, I didn't argue further. I climbed in.

At every red light, Xander glanced at me. He seemed to be searching for some sign of heartbreak or resentment.

After all, in the past, I would have been desperate to fill the silence.

I would have asked about his wounds or tried to pry into his relationship.

Today, I said nothing. The car was so quiet I could hear him breathing.

Finally, I spoke up. "Just ask whatever is on your mind."

Xander's grip on the steering wheel tightened until his knuckles turned white.

"About the partner swap... I hope you're doing this because you actually care about Hadley. Don't play any double-sided games or try any petty stunts."

"Willa, I don't have those kinds of feelings for you."

He didn't even try to hide the disgust in his eyes. I froze for a second.

He had known all along. He knew I loved him.

He had just been pretending he didn't.

I suddenly started laughing. How could a man as sharp as Xander Holt not realize I was head over heels for him?

"You're overthinking it. I don't have feelings for you anymore. We were only ever partners."

Xander slammed on the brakes. The sudden stop nearly threw me into the windshield.

He stared at me, his eyes searching my face for a lie.

But I remained perfectly calm. There was nothing for him to find.

He pulled back, returning to his usual cold demeanor.

"Good. Let the past stay in the past."

"Yeah. Tell Hadley I said thanks."

I grabbed my box and hopped out of the car.

I didn't notice Xander staring at the empty passenger seat, his hands trembling on the wheel.

3.

Desk work was much easier than being in the field.

My new coworkers were friendly and kept trying to set me up on dates.

That was how I met Leo Ford.

The Fords and the Yorks were on equal social footing. Leo was young, successful, and a genuine gentleman. He had a bright future ahead of him.

My dad was obsessed with him. He kept making up excuses for Leo to take me out to dinner.

One weekend, Leo invited me to a picnic at a suburban park.

When I arrived, I realized Xander and Hadley were there, too.

With their wedding approaching, they were taking engagement photos.

Xander looked tall and handsome in a dark green suit. Hadley was stunning in a mermaid-style lace gown. They were a perfect match.

Hadley saw me and came running over, lifting her heavy skirt.

"Willa! What a coincidence! I was just about to text you to come take some photos with us."

She took my hand and pressed it against her stomach, lowering her voice.

"I'm pregnant. It happened the night we got back together."

"You saved his father's life. I want you to be the godmother. Will you?"

I felt her belly and gave her a genuine smile.

"I'd love to. When are you guys officially signing the papers? We should do a little ceremony for the baby that day."

Xander looked up at me, a flicker of surprise in his eyes.

Hadley was glowing with happiness.

"Xander says the marriage application just got approved. We're heading to the courthouse right after this photo shoot."

"Willa, can we take a photo together? To remember the baby before he's born? We're basically family now."

"Sure."

I stepped beside Hadley. Xander stood on her other side.

The photographer signaled, the flash went off, and the moment was frozen.

Hadley eagerly checked the digital preview. Her smile faltered as she looked at Xander.

I tried to get a peek at the photo, but she quickly shoved it into her pocket.

"Let's do another one," she said, her voice sounding a bit forced. "I looked bad in that one."

I noticed she looked a bit pale. I stepped closer to check on her.

Suddenly, Hadley stumbled back a few steps. She tripped over her long train and started to fall.

Xander was there in a heartbeat, catching her in his arms.

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

Then he turned to me, his eyes flashing with fury.

"Willa, did you do that on purpose?"

"Hadley is pregnant! Even I barely touch her because I'm so careful. Why are you trying to scare her?!"

"If anything happens to her or the baby, I will never forgive you."

Xander was so angry his neck was turning red. He held Hadley's hand like she was made of glass.

Hadley buried her face in his chest, her voice muffled.

"Don't blame Willa. It was my fault. I tripped on my own dress."

Xander snapped back, "She crowded you! You wouldn't have tripped if you weren't trying to get away from her."

He glared at me again.

"I don't care what you're plotting. Keep your 'feelings' to yourself."

"If Hadley gets hurt, I'm coming for your father first."

Xander usually kept his emotions locked away.

Even when teammates died, he stayed stoic.

Seeing him lose his cool like this was rare.

He meant it when he threatened my father. For Hadley, he would do anything.

I ignored his outburst and looked at Hadley.

"Are you sure you're okay? Should I take you to the hospital? I'm sorry if I startled you."

Hadley waved her hand. "I'm fine, really. Xander is just being dramatic."

Xander frowned at me.

He probably didn't expect me to apologize so easily.

My phone buzzed. Leo had arrived. I looked at Hadley.

"If you feel weird later, call me. I'll get you to a doctor."

"I have a date now, so I've got to go."

Xander suddenly looked at me, his tone almost accusatory.

"Who are you going on a date with?"

"A friend."

I turned to leave.

Xander chased after me, reaching out to grab my arm.

"Tell me. Which friend?"

A strong arm suddenly pulled me back into a warm chest. Leo stood there, his eyes cold as he stared Xander down.

"Your fiance is waiting for you over there. This is my fiance. If you touch her again, I'll file a harassment report."

"Mr. Holt, I don't think your career can afford that kind of scandal, can it?"